Rekindling an old flame..

So, here I am - two months after discovering I have herpes. After quickly going in and out of a very dark place, I am once again myself - only better. Stronger. Deeply happy. Refocusing on taking care of my body, mind and spirit has helped me understand how having herpes does not negatively impact my life. It has in truth only made me more positive, more grateful, more empathetic.

In this enlightening, I have rekindled a romance with someone whom I had a brief brilliant ride with three years ago. He moved quite far away for family reasons (in another country). We have been talking again for about one month. We skype and message each other frequently, and are intimately connected on so many levels. I am about to share this intimate detail about myself with him. It is very likely that I had the virus when I was with him before (quite unbeknownst to me), so this is an interesting conversation that is about to happen.

I am interested in this community's thoughts.. I have read all of the handouts and messages - I am most thoughtful of making sure I do not leave anything out, so he can understand what I am going through. Also, I cannot do this in person - but I do not want to wait until I see him in September - that would be dishonest. It is so frightening, as he is so very important to me.

Has anyone else had this sort of experience? Thank you ever so much.

@valkyrie

Hello and welcome!

The handouts are great (and you can send him the link for them)...and I'm posting a bunch of successful disclosure conversations for you so you can see how different people approach the conversation.

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2384/successful-herpes-disclosure

Bookworm_21

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2386/ive-been-gone-for-too-long

klopz

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2390/update-on-my-for-my-h-opp-peeps nic4897

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2445/my-success-story simplyme24

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2495/a-coming-out-story- DanieM

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2544/disclosure silentstandoff

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/1644/having-the-herpes-talk-with-a-new-partner Daisy

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2689/first-time-disclosing-herpes-and-very-very-nervous paleogardenerkika

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2789/about-to-have-the-herpes-talk Empowered 74 (gay male)

http://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/2833/this-was-a-first kitcattat

Good luck...keep us posted ;)

Very recently....rekindled an old flame from 25 years past. Knew I was H+ then and did not disclose. After reconnecting, I had to disclose H and that I was dishonest back then. I thought he would walk or freak out, but he didn't. He was very understanding. We are not pursing anything further right now, for other reasons, but I'm glad I disclosed and he now knows the risks and can exercise his options. This was by far the most difficult disclosure for me but I feel much stronger for having done it and feel like the benefits of him knowing and being able to make a decision far outweigh the risks of fear and rejection. Best wishes to you....I'm sure it will go well.

Update! And spoiler alert, this is now a success story!

So this morning we were finally able to have a good deep intimate talk and I explained I had something important and private to share with him, because I respect him and value him so deeply, and that it was very intimate and personal. I explained how I found out (there were some other health issues that led me to test) and that I probably have had it for a long time, even when we were together last, probably as long as since I was in my teens. I asked him what were his thoughts on that?

His response, verbatim "I'm going to do some research to learn more about it my love, but rest assured that our bond, our love is stronger than anything and we will endure, fight and overcome any obstacle together. You are very important to me my treasure!"

Love conquers all! I fell so amazing on many levels. One, that having shared this with him has lifted a heavy weight off. And two, it solidified in my mind and heart a love that I knew was so deep and true... Gave it a concrete foundation of which to build a beautiful life!

Thank you all for your sharing and openness. This has helped me grow so much!

Valkyrie

Yippie Skippy!!!! Doing cartwheels over here for you!!!

He sounds like a wonderful gentleman .... sooo happy for you!!!

(((HUGS)))

Great :) xx

Thank you all, especially @WCSDancer2010 you are an inspiration!

I'm glad your rekindling story has a happy ending. It's a rare thing and I wish you both the sincerest and most happiest kind of love imaginable. Grab onto it and don't let go no matter what life throws your way.