Successful herpes disclosure!

I have recently been talking to someone from an online dating site. We really click and he wanted to go on a date. I agreed, even though I still had that nervous feeling of getting rejected. I always feel like I'm lying to someone until I disclose. Does anyone else feel that way? I wasn't planning on disclosing during the first date, but that's where the conversation went.

He was talking about the Army and mentioned getting tested for STD's every year. I asked if the Army tests for everything, or just the four main STD's they test for in Ohio. We talked a little more about testing and I came out and told him my whole story. Not the shortened version that I had been using before. That version played me more as a victim, not a woman taking responsibility for her actions. He listened carefully and then told me he wasn't judging me. I informed him about taking suppressive therapy and using condoms. He said that we'd use condoms unless we decided to have a baby anyways and respected me for telling him. I also informed him of my most recent issues with another STD, but that I was negative now. I was honest and told him that in the past I haven't respected myself or another person enough to slow things down and get to know each other on a deeper level before getting physical, but I want to change that now. He told me that he appreciated that I told him, and he wanted to see things through.

Later we got on the subject of a physical relationship and he said that he would never make me feel uncomfortable or rushed. He was a gentlemen the whole night and said he wanted to kiss me, but didn't want to push me into something I wasn't ready for. It was a refreshing change. He now knows my "dirty little secrets" and isn't running away. I feel like we've started this relationship out being open and honest, and I'm excited to see where it goes!

Gosh I soooo love this kind of post... and we are getting more and more of them!

Good for you... keep us posted.... I want to live vicariously through you all until MY Mr Right comes along :)

(((HUGS)))

Hahaha well after we had the serious talk he took me to dinner. He opened and closed my car door, opened all the restraunt doors, and left a big tip for our server. (I always watch stuff like that). We laughed and joked the whole time. He has twin 2 1/2 year old daughters and gets them 4 days a week. He has a good job and is in school to be an intervention specialist. He's also in the Army reserves after being deployed twice. Pretty much my dream man.

YAY. (: I have my dream man. You have your dream man. We are tooo much alike. :D We should be sisters !

hahahahahaha.

I am glad everything worked out.

YAY!!! I feel like I have been reading more and more happy stories about successful disclosures. We are all beautiful people who were let down, but strong and caring enought to risk losing someone we care about in order to avoid them getting this darn H. I am so happy for you bookworm I feel like from my own experience disclosure makes a relationship so strong. I am in the happiest relationship i have ever been with and i have H!! Im jumping with joy for you sweet bookworm!! :)

Victoria - The more we talk the more I feel like we aren't sisters but twins. It's so weird :D

Klopz - Thank you! Maybe it's in the way we have all been disclosing? I think because of this site I've been more confident and accepting of myself. Instead of crying and feeling like it's the worst thing that could happen to me when I'm disclosing (because if I feel that way HE'S going to feel that way about it and not want to risk it) I've been able to be very open, honest, and confident about it. Which is something he said he admired.

Update - especially for Dancer! He has basically asked me out, but told me he didn't want to do it over text but

Yay Bookworm!!!

Interestingly, I'm talking online to a guy on one of the dating sites. He eventually asked me about what having herpes meant for my sex life/transmission/etc. I put it all out there and his reply was:

"YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY SPECTACULAR!!

:)

THE INFO YOU'VE PASSED ALONG IS BOTH EYE OPENING AND INFORMATIVE!!

YOU'RE SUCH A DESIRABLE WOMAN!

GORGEOUS AND INTELLIGENT!!!!!!!!

YES!! I AM FROM THE CAMP WHERE BRAINS ARE SEXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXY!!!!! "

So for those who think that you HAVE to have them already in love with you when you disclose to keep them from running, I just proved that theory wrong... and he's notthe first :)

Dancer...I am curious. I am seriously considering putting that I have Herpes on my online dating profile but am curious how you word it and what you say? Would you mind at all sharing that? In addition, when he wrote back and asked you those questions, how did you respond?

Thanks.

Osolucky:

I'm going to put all this on it's own discussion because I think it's important enough to deserve an easy to find topic link :)