What can a few (horribly drawn) stick figures teach you about shame? (… and what is the difference between how fear and excitement show up in your brain?)
Yes, my drawing skills need some work, but the messages presented on this video set the stage for the rest of the weekend. And it gives you a good feel for the environment of the weekend. I didn’t record any of the participants for confidentiality and privacy purposes, but these clips do a good job of introducing you to the weekend. For all the need-to-know info on the next H Opportunity Weekend Seminar, click here.
Guest author from our community: Shannon (SingBlueSilver)
Something fascinating is happening to me … There’s a small seed inside of me. It’s pushing for more attention daily. Changing, growing, morphing. It’s always been there, really, but never nurtured. I’ve been in therapy most of my life trying to coax the seed to gain roots and prosper. In the end, I think I was afraid to make real changes in my life to love myself and be happy because being a victim and sad all the time was easier. Real growth takes work and dedication. So the seed of my inner strength lay stagnant …
Guest author from our community: WhoopsiDaysi
I can remember when I was first diagnosed with herpes. It was around December 3, 2011. I had a few things come at me – I became an empty nester and about six weeks later my husband left. My life was turned upside down, to say the least, and then I got herpes symptoms that would suggest my worst nightmare (probably as a result of all the stress I was feeling). I tried to ignore the symptoms for a few days, tried my own remedies, tried to rationalize that it was nothing, but eventually I gave in and went for testing because it wasn’t going away. I wish I would have known then what I know now …
Guest author from our community: breatheandletgo
It’s nearly impossible for many of us who have genital herpes to say the word without feeling shame. I am one of those people, though I am actively working on changing this. And as I’ve worked on the change in myself, I’ve asked a lot of questions about shame, its roots and what strategies are effective in overcoming its paralyzing effects.
DISCLAIMER: There is no cure for herpes in the physical sense, but there is a herpes cure in how you allow it to affect your life … your own unhealthy relationship to yourself and to this simple virus can be cured.
A friend shared with me one of the most profound statements about shame: Shame is breadcrumbs that lead to more opportunities for self-acceptance and wholeness. So having shame about genital herpes is us believing that who we are isn’t enough to have someone accept a simple virus. This shame holds us back from believing that entire parts of ourselves are lovable. So we avoid looking at those parts of ourselves. We look the other way. Denial is the easiest way to avoid those parts that we don’t love, those parts we don’t accept. But what if those parts we are choosing not to look at is where our beauty lies?
This is a guest blog. Original article can be found here.
The most common versions of herpes simplex virus, or HSV, are HSV-1 and HSV-2. Generally speaking, HSV-1 causes cold sores (oral herpes) on the mouth, and HSV-2 causes genital herpes (which is essentially just having cold sores in your genital area, rather than your face). With this in mind, it’s possible to get HSV-1 genitally and/or HSV-2 orally, but not as likely as the other way around. While HSV-1 and HSV-2 aren’t super picky, they do tend to prefer their former positions.
Many thanks to the American Social Health Association for this article.
When many people first tell someone they have genital herpes, they start by comparing the herpes infection to oral herpes, or cold sores. How apt is the comparison? In spite of scientific facts, the herpes stigma and emotional attitudes surrounding genital herpes can make it hard to compare it objectively with an oral infection that most people casually accept. Following the unspoken assumptions of our society, many people still believe there is a “good” herpes virus (HSV-1, the usual cause of cold sores) and a “bad” herpes virus (HSV-2, the usual cause of genital herpes).
Does any of this apply to you?
- Herpes is constantly on your mind, taking you away from living your life fully
- Having herpes has convinced you that you’re completely alone and always will be
- Simply saying the word “herpes” makes your heart sink
- You judge yourself mercilessly, saying things like “How was I so stupid to get herpes?”
- You just had your first herpes outbreak; you feel lost and don’t know what to do
- You’re waiting for a herpes cure to save you from having to deal with this
- You have to distract yourself from remembering that you have herpes in order to just get through the day
- Having the herpes talk (disclosing) scares the crap out of you and you don’t know how you could possibly tell someone “I have herpes”
- You are disgusted — and think everyone else is, too — that you have herpes, so much so that it feels like it defines you for the worst (scarlet letter H)
I totally enjoyed my chat with Marcia of askingforwhatyouwant.com last night. It was less an interview and more two friends chatting about how people with herpes can totally lead happy, fulfilled lives and learn to accept all the love they deserve.
Here’s what Marcia had to say about our interview last night …