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“Babe, I have herpes.” (Mens Health Australia article)

A writer from Men’s Health Australia reached out to me about a piece he was writing called “Tough Conversations.”

So I shared one of my first “Opportunity” herpes talks … More >

Radical view on self love

Don’t feel like reading it? Listen to it instead here:

I remember the day that my self-judgment voice totally changed into something surprising.

So simple, yet so profound. Still to this day, when I think back to this moment, I get goosebumps and smile. So I hope this one helps you the next time you’re feeling any sort of heart-achey.

It was right around Valentines Day a few years back.

My then-girlfriend and I separated. It was an amicable breakup, but it still hurt like hell. And it resurfaced a lot of old thoughts and beliefs.

I would find myself moping around the house in my bath robe, feeling really, really sorry for myself. Self pity, loneliness sinking all the way to my bones like an arctic chill. And even though I was over the shame of herpes specifically, the thoughts swirling in my head sounded all too familiar: “You’re totally alone again. Nobody loves you. Just give up.” (The perfect personification of Eeyore.) Blah blah blah. It was incessant, like a playground bully, taunting me.

Each thought lead to me feeling more down, like each was a shovelful of dirt, digging me deeper into the hole of depression. The shittier I felt, the more intense the thoughts became. The more intense the thoughts, the deeper I went. It was quite the vicious cycle.

And one day after rolling myself out of bed, as I poured my morning coffee, grabbed the vanilla creamer and …

I heard a new voice in my head …

a new thought that surprised me … More >

The judgment boomerang

Many years ago now, I attended my very first improv comedy live show.

I loved it. It was pee-my-pants hilarious (thankful I held back the pee). Those performers seemed so natural up there on stage having such a great time. I was totally absorbed into every scene they played. They were owning the characters they were creating, enjoying every moment. My cheeks and sides hurt from laughing so much.

Then came the part of the show where the improv students came on stage. They had just completed a 6-week class and this was their very first performance in front of a live audience …

More >

With tears in our eyes …

Both of us were laughing (with tears in our eyes) as we said our goodbyes …

I just got off Skype with a dear coaching client. It was our final session together.

You see, there’s a sweet and powerful way I like to end coaching relationships (even though it’s never really the end):

We get to acknowledge each other.

I went first … More >

A message I got: “It’s not an opportunity!”

I recently got this in my inbox. It’s an example of a message I’ve gotten a lot over the years. And it’s at the source of a lot of the pain and suffering I see all the time. Is herpes an opportunity or a curse (or something in between)?

“You know honestly, while i appreciate your forum and your perspective on everything, it’s not an opportunity, it’s a curse. Why? Because people are short sighted, judgmental, and ignorant … Just had to say how I feel.”

Here’s my response …
More >

Protected: “How to never feel rejected” live call audio

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The herpes interview (Authentic Man Program)

Listen to this no BS conversation about H, dating, sex and culture.

A vulnerable, candid, revealing and informative interview that includes:

  • A quick rundown of the basic facts about herpes (and why they’re so important)
  • A personal story: What happened to me after my diagnosis when I called my mom
  • What can have herpes feel like such a dead end (and how it can actually be just the opposite)
  • How “The Herpes Talk” can actually make you and that special someone even closer together (instead of pushing them away).

Talk about this interview on our community forums!


Partner said they didn’t have herpes. How did I get it?

This is a question we see a lot on our Herpes Opportunity community forums. “How did I get herpes? My partner said they didn’t have it. How is this possible?”

Here are a few possible answers to consider …

More >

The bouncer in your head

Imagine this.

You’re planning a party. It can be your birthday party, a New Years Eve party, an end-of-the-world party, an “I’m alive” party — it doesn’t matter what the excuse to celebrate is; all you know is it’s gonna be epic. Fun. Joy. Celebration. Dancing. Connecting with people you love. Frolicking …

This will be everything you could ever want in a party. And you get to create it. (You epic party-planner, you.) More >