What if herpes itself isn’t actually bad? [Gasp] What if it’s just blocking your own awesomeness?
No, this isn’t blowing rainbows, unicorns and puppy dog tails into your eardrums. This is real. This is true. And you know it. You are totally awesome. Own it. It might just be hard to see when your focus is squarely on herpes. But what about focusing on you? What if you are the reason herpes is not a big deal? More >
Are you suffering with herpes? (Key word here being “suffering.”) Well, here’s the secret to moving on, to being happy: Just give up.
Hold on, stop the temper tantrum. Get up off the floor. Let’s be clear: Don’t give up on everything. Keep that good, positive hope. Give up that irrational hope you’re clinging to. That just-out-of-your-reach hope that’s keeping you from moving on with your life. Give up that nagging hope of finding a herpes cure (although it may happen). Give up hope that you’ll never have an outbreak again (although they do lessen with time). Give up hope that one day saying “I have herpes” to a potential partner will be easy-breezy (although disclosing can actually be a connecting experience). Give up hope that at some point, that herpes outbreak won’t impact you in any way (although with time, it impacts you less and less). More >
Scenario: You meet someone. You really like this someone. Definite connection. Definite mojo. The time for the herpes disclosure — “Hey, got a minute? I have herpes” — is here. What is this time like for you? What feelings come up? Fear? Shame? Guilt? Avoidance? Those are all common reactions, but let’s dig deeper as to why these might be showing up … More >
What are the risks to my unborn baby if I have genital herpes?
The biggest concern with genital herpes during pregnancy is that you might transmit it to your baby during labor and delivery. Newborn herpes is relatively rare (about 1,500 newborns are affected each year), but the disease can be devastating, so it’s important to learn how to reduce your baby’s risk of becoming infected.
You can transmit herpes to your baby during labor and delivery if you’re contagious, or “shedding herpes virus,” at that time. The risk of transmission is high if you get herpes for the first time (a primary infection) late in your pregnancy.
Much less commonly, you can transmit the virus if you’re having a recurrent infection. If you’ve ever had a herpes outbreak, the virus remains in your body and can become reactivated.
In rare cases, a pregnant woman may transmit the infection to her baby through the placenta if she gets herpes for the first time in her first trimester. If a baby is infected this way, the virus can cause a miscarriage or serious birth defects.
Coach Betty Live interviewed me about the Herpes Opportunity. We talk about a range of topics, including herpes shame, herpes facts and statistics and how the phone-based herpes opportunity support group can be so powerful and healing. Thanks for the interview, Betty!
[originally posted as “Herpes as Transformational Opportunity” on the Coach Training Institute’s (CTI) blog, the leading trainer of life coaches worldwide]
Herpes? An opportunity? Yeah, I get the confusion. How can those two things even be put in the same sentence? But getting herpes was a real life-changer for me. But in a different way than you might imagine …
I got herpes years ago. In short, I saw herpes as a dead end. I wanted to die. Herpes meant a lot of horrible things to me: It meant I was going to be unloved, rejected, alone. It was the physical manifestation of my worst fear: no one loved me. Name all those heavy emotions — I felt them all. Anger. Shame. Self-pity. Disgust. Despair. Loneliness. Hopelessness. And eventually … numbness. Underneath it all was the question, “Am I really worthy of love?” I was terrified of the answer; so I suppressed even asking myself the question. Denial was my key to not feeling. A self-fulfilling prophecy set in.
Fast forward many years … More >
There are plenty of things about herpes that we hear through the media and beliefs we already have in our heads that affect how we feel about having herpes. Most of these things we tell ourselves are simply wrong! And pulling these thoughts out of your head helps to nip them in the bud the next time they come up. More >
Five herpes interviews from people just like you are here for you to hear. It’s vitally important to get personal stories out in the world to normalize this simple virus. It proves to us that we are not alone and that there are other perspectives on how to see herpes. More >
The New Man Podcast interviewed me about the Herpes Opportunity. We had a blast! The underlying question is: Why do we allow herpes to have so much power in our lives? What are we really afraid of? Thanks for the interview, Tripp!
David Roche was born with a severe facial disfigurement. Through his life he has moved from intense shame to accepting and loving himself. Where are the parallels between this man who has struggled with facial deformity and people with herpes? We all have shame; and it can show up in a variety of ways. Don’t we get used to hiding our self-perceived imperfections from others in order to get acceptance and love? Sometimes these self-perceived imperfections — this shame — are revealed from behind the dark curtain … then what happens? More >