Disclosed and Rejected

So I had been dating a man for a couple of weeks. It was going very well, and it was apparent that I needed to disclose pretty soon, given the pace he going and the direction he was headed. I told him about being ghsv1 positive, gave him all the info I had, and let him think about it. We went from (clothes on) hot and heavy to "let's be friends" faster than you could say "friend zoned." We are completely compatible in every other way. It seems the deal breaker is that he prefers giving oral to having intercourse. He says he likes sex, but prefers to give oral. I told him about dental dams, and gave him all kinds of info, but he says that he's afraid that it would just bother him too much, he'd become resentful (at what I'm not entirely sure) and we'd just end up breaking up anyway, so why start something to begin with? The initial breakup was a month ago, and we really have stayed friends, but it was just yesterday that we really leveled with each other (me-"why can't we try?" him-"oral..."). Knowing him for the short time that I have, and talking to him about our lives and getting deep, I know that he's got some issues about being rejected himself, so I think that somewhere he may be using this as a subconscious shield to prevent his own rejection. I've closed the book on any romantic possibilities between us because 1. I want to respect his decision, 2. He probably has more issues that need to be worked out before he can commit to a romantic relationship, 3. I really do like him as a person and I value his friendship very much. I would rather keep him as a friend than toss aside a failed short term relationship. I did a lot of crying. We're still very much friends. It just hurts that he can't see past the negatives. I'm hoping that this is not typical of my dating experiences. I have a lot of love to give, I'm relatively young (45 next week), and I want to find someone to share my life with. Any input, suggestions, and encouragement would be appreciated. Thank you.

This is either a case of him being vigilant about testing himself and partners for HSV, him being unaware that 93% of people your age have HSV (source: http://projectaccept.org/who-gets-hsv/), or him having a hard time with known risk vs. unknown risk. In my experience, difficulty putting known risk in perspective is usually the culprit when people have anxiety about this.

FWIW, I have HSV2 and have found most prospective partners to be accepting. I know it sucks when you like a particular guy, but I would just see this as a basic incompatibility issue and move on swiftly so you will open to meeting others who are fine with your HSV status.