Worst Pain of My Life

I'm having a very severe primary outbreak. I don't know yet whether I have type one or two, but I did get a positive preliminary result for herpes. Not that there was any doubt, given the symptoms. I knew even before I got to the doctor. I have so many ulcers. So many. Just huge clusters of them all over my genitals. Even right on the tip of my head, which makes walking and sitting up straight incredibly difficult. I can't stand to go to the bathroom unless I hold an ice pack on my junk for 10 minutes first to try and numb myself, and it still hurts so much that I usually end up having to pee in the bathtub. I can't leave the house for more than an hour or so in case I have to go to the bathroom.

I just don't know what to do. I'm not even thinking about the other awful aspects of HSV, like trying to find a long term partner who won't avoid me like a leper. I'm sure I'll stress about that eventually. Right now I'm just terrified of the thought of having to deal with this pain any longer. The lesions just really started a couple nights ago, but they are rapidly increasing in number and size. I'm on 3g of Valacyclovir a day, but it hasn't made any difference yet. I'm reading different things as far as how long a primary outbreak lasts, but some places say 2-4 weeks! I can't stand this for that long. The only thing I found that gives me some relief is soaking in an Epsom salt bath, then putting aloe vera with lidocaine on the lesions. The malaise and aches are killer too. I live on the 5th floor of a building with no elevator, and I was trembling just trying to go down the stairs this morning. I had to rest on the third floor for a while before I could get all the way back up. I just don't know what to do now.

Hey there! The first outbreak is by far the WORST. It's horrible but it won't last forever. Unfortunately, when I had my first I didn't really find anything that helped me. I had to just kinda wait it out. I can say that if you make it through this one (which you will :) ) you can make it through the rest! The longer you have it, the less frequent your outbreaks will occur. Stress also plays a huge factor in your outbreaks, try to remain calm and not freak out. You're going to be just fine :)

@mwest thanks for reaching out. i've heard the first outbreak is the worst as well. My first outbreak was extremely uncomfortable. I felt like everyone could tell i had it but they really had no idea. Ice definitely helped me too. Maybe try going commando to avoid friction, that really helped me as keeping the air dry. i even lightly blow dried the area with a hair dryer on low or cool to help dry/sooth the area, just be sure not to burn yourself if you try it. I started taking a stress b complex vitamin to help boost the immune system and shared my diagnosis with a close friend to help with support and share a few laughs. Do the best you can, you'll make it through! :)

I'm so sorry you're experiencing so much pain. I sincerely hope you're able to find some relief soon. Dealing with herpes on an emotional level is much easier to do once the physical symptoms are under control. Diluted tea tree oil is one of my favorite remedies for discomfort (I'm serious about the diluted part--just a couple of drops on a wet cotton square or mixed with some coconut oil.) {{hugs}}

I also am having my first outbreak and it is so painful, every time I sit down to pee I'm like I know this is going to hurt but I have to do it I don't have an option. It's awful having to give myself a mental pep talk. Just know we're in it together the pain is awful, I'm here if you need it

The worst day I literally stayed in bed all day long. I woke up maybe three times throughout the day, just long enough to take my antiviral and a couple pain pills, then I went back to sleep. Even laying perfectly still it felt like someone was pressing burning cigarettes against my junk, and I just didn't drink any more than I had to in hopes that I wouldn't have to pee. Thankfully it was better the next day, and better still today. The lidocaine finally works enough to let me walk, and I'm hoping this outbreak is over by next week. I'm so glad the first outbreak is usually the worst by far, because at one point I was seriously considering jumping out my window. I've had surgeries, busted my head open, and have tattoos, so I thought I had a high pain tolerance. But nothing I've ever felt was half as painful as herpes.

I agree like I felt like crawling out of my skin. I hope to god I don't get anymore outbreaks but if I do I just hope that it's not as bad as this one. I just got it less than a week ago so I'm sure I'll have it this week but it can't be over soon enough. I have a low pain tolerance I hate pain everything hurts but now I feel like if I can do this I could deal with much more. I tried witch hazel just holding it on a cotton ball for like 10 minutes and it felt so much better for like an hour but that's it