New diagnosis and not coping well

Hello, I'm new to this group, figured I would give it a try. I unfortunately fell victim to contracting hsv through oral sex. I am not with the guy, it was more of a fling type of deal. I went to doc and she didn't test my blood but just sent me with meds. My guy was shocked by the news and went to get his blood tested and it came back hsv1. I had a pretty mild breakout down there and 3 cold sores on my lip (I never had a cold sore prior to this). Anywho it's been about a month since the diagnosis and a couple weeks since symptoms have gone away but I am finding myself on a rollercoaster. Some days I'm fine and some days I lay in bed all day crying and contemplating suicide (I know I would never actually do it but the fact that the thought runs through my head scares me)... It is driving me nuts. I have a doc appt on Monday mainly just to get more info about hsv and talk about suppressive therapy-- is this necessary with hsv1? I am just so afraid of never dating again. I'm 27 and found dating very difficult the way it was and now I have this to throw in the mix. I cannot stop thinking about it on a daily basis, even when I'm super busy at work it's all I can think about. I suffered 2015 battling depression and was finally out of it and doing so well until this, now I feel very unmotivated and I have zero confidence anymore.

@h1234 Yeah herpes sucks - I think everyone goes through a bout of depression when they learn that they have it - aka I am on the same rollercoaster. Feel lucky that you have people you can talk to.

You're doing the right thing by going to the doctor and educating yourself - there are also a ton of resources on this site. Look through the frequently asked questions so that you understand more about this hitchhiker.

HSV doesn't make you a bad person - it hasn't changed who you are - there is no reason to beat youself up about it.

At this point the best thing to do is understand what you are dealing with and learn to accept & love yourself again.