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herpes in our mind

The judgment boomerang

Many years ago now, I attended my very first improv comedy live show.

I loved it. It was pee-my-pants hilarious (thankful I held back the pee). Those performers seemed so natural up there on stage having such a great time. I was totally absorbed into every scene they played. They were owning the characters they were creating, enjoying every moment. My cheeks and sides hurt from laughing so much.

Then came the part of the show where the improv students came on stage. They had just completed a 6-week class and this was their very first performance in front of a live audience …

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With tears in our eyes …

Both of us were laughing (with tears in our eyes) as we said our goodbyes …

I just got off Skype with a dear coaching client. It was our final session together.

You see, there’s a sweet and powerful way I like to end coaching relationships (even though it’s never really the end):

We get to acknowledge each other.

I went first … More >

A message I got: “It’s not an opportunity!”

I recently got this in my inbox. It’s an example of a message I’ve gotten a lot over the years. And it’s at the source of a lot of the pain and suffering I see all the time. Is herpes an opportunity or a curse (or something in between)?

“You know honestly, while i appreciate your forum and your perspective on everything, it’s not an opportunity, it’s a curse. Why? Because people are short sighted, judgmental, and ignorant … Just had to say how I feel.”

Here’s my response …
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Protected: “How to never feel rejected” live call audio

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The herpes interview (Authentic Man Program)

Listen to this no BS conversation about H, dating, sex and culture.

A vulnerable, candid, revealing and informative interview that includes:

  • A quick rundown of the basic facts about herpes (and why they’re so important)
  • A personal story: What happened to me after my diagnosis when I called my mom
  • What can have herpes feel like such a dead end (and how it can actually be just the opposite)
  • How “The Herpes Talk” can actually make you and that special someone even closer together (instead of pushing them away).

Talk about this interview on our community forums!


The bouncer in your head

Imagine this.

You’re planning a party. It can be your birthday party, a New Years Eve party, an end-of-the-world party, an “I’m alive” party — it doesn’t matter what the excuse to celebrate is; all you know is it’s gonna be epic. Fun. Joy. Celebration. Dancing. Connecting with people you love. Frolicking …

This will be everything you could ever want in a party. And you get to create it. (You epic party-planner, you.) More >

Cicily versus Sweet Cicily: “I have herpes.”

Guest author from our community: Cicily

Last fall I had watched a powerful TEDx Talks presentation by speaker Ash Beckham where she shared her experience with coming out of the closet as a lesbian. Her message of acceptance and self love went viral across social media and the world wide web.

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CatalystCon panel: Living with herpes, HIV, STIs

Many people living with an STI are too ashamed to admit their diagnosis. In the de facto hierarchy of STIs, Herpes and HIV are widely considered to be the “worst” to get because they are not curable. In this panel, we combine the knowledge and experience of sex educators and public health professionals, two of whom are “out” about having STIs themselves. We’ll discuss sex and dating with an STI, as well as navigating the stigma that exists in daily life. Knowledge is more contagious than STIs. According to the CDC, 1 in 3 Americans have an STI. Those statistics make this an important and relevant discussion for all sexuality professionals.

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Closets are for hangers

Guest author from our community: Carlos

Very simple instructions… Closets are for wire hangers, NOT for the human Soul. Hello again! This is your HERPES virus speaking. I’m sort of using my buddy Carlos again to reach out to you in love. Yes, in L.O.V.E.! What, you think because I’m a tiny parasite I have no capacity to love, especially my host? Don’t get it twisted. Like Lady Gaga said: “I was born this way!”
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Using Herpes As Your Wing-Man

Guest author from our community: WCSDancer2010

I know you may not be able to imagine this right now, but Herpes really CAN become your Wing-man in both your dating and regular life.  The definition of a Wing-man is “… a role that a person may take when a friend needs support with approaching potential partners. A wingman is someone who is on the “inside” and is used to help someone with intimate relationships.” (from Wikipedia)

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