herpes in our culture
A writer from Men’s Health Australia reached out to me about a piece he was writing called “Tough Conversations.”
So I shared one of my first “Opportunity” herpes talks … More >
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Both of us were laughing (with tears in our eyes) as we said our goodbyes …
I just got off Skype with a dear coaching client. It was our final session together.
You see, there’s a sweet and powerful way I like to end coaching relationships (even though it’s never really the end):
We get to acknowledge each other.
I went first … More >
I recently got this in my inbox. It’s an example of a message I’ve gotten a lot over the years. And it’s at the source of a lot of the pain and suffering I see all the time. Is herpes an opportunity or a curse (or something in between)?
“You know honestly, while i appreciate your forum and your perspective on everything, it’s not an opportunity, it’s a curse. Why? Because people are short sighted, judgmental, and ignorant … Just had to say how I feel.”
Here’s my response …
Listen to this no BS conversation about H, dating, sex and culture.
A vulnerable, candid, revealing and informative interview that includes:
- A quick rundown of the basic facts about herpes (and why they’re so important)
- A personal story: What happened to me after my diagnosis when I called my mom
- What can have herpes feel like such a dead end (and how it can actually be just the opposite)
- How “The Herpes Talk” can actually make you and that special someone even closer together (instead of pushing them away).
Talk about this interview on our community forums!
Many people living with an STI are too ashamed to admit their diagnosis. In the de facto hierarchy of STIs, Herpes and HIV are widely considered to be the “worst” to get because they are not curable. In this panel, we combine the knowledge and experience of sex educators and public health professionals, two of whom are “out” about having STIs themselves. We’ll discuss sex and dating with an STI, as well as navigating the stigma that exists in daily life. Knowledge is more contagious than STIs. According to the CDC, 1 in 3 Americans have an STI. Those statistics make this an important and relevant discussion for all sexuality professionals.
Guest author from our community: Carlos
“Hello Everyone! Surely I need no introduction. In Western Culture I’m right up there with Leprosy (which totally baffles me). In the 20th century three Influenza pandemics occurred, each caused by the appearance of a new strain of the Flu virus in humans and killed tens of millions of people. In the 4,500 years of my existence on Earth, I have caused zero fatalities… That is ZERO, as in not one! Moreover, comedians capitalize on herpes jokes, but that says more about their lack of creativity that your living with me. I personally can’t stand them; most of their herpes material is so trite. Truth be told, I wish you and I could just be friends. I’m a virus seeking a host, and you just happened to be there. I’m sorry I’ve caused you so much heartache, distress, shame and anger. It was never my intention to hurt you; I’m just trying to survive like any other organism out there. Anyways, I don’t want to take up too much of your time. I’ve asked my friend Carlos to put together a report where the mythology surrounding me and my so-called unclean nature is debunked. Again, now that we are linked together forever, I hope we can come to a deeper understanding of ourselves. My contribution to your pain is not deliberate, and I promise, as times goes by, my moodiness will lessen — like most humans — I too have bad days and flare up. I promise to partake in a stress-free lifestyle, if you do the footwork… And oh yeah, since Mother Nature created ME as well as She did YOU, heck, neither of us is going to be perfect 100% of the time; so let’s turn the self-loathing a couple of notches down… deal?”
The Herpes Simplex Virus (and all my mutations)
And here’s what I have to say …
This is a question brought up a lot on the Herpes Opportunity forums.
“Should I / How do I disclose that I get cold sores to potential partners before kissing them?”
The answer can be a confusing one, simply because it’s up to the individual on what’s right or not. And there has been a great debate on the forum before about it, and recently another question on this topic has been thrown into the ring …
So let’s get into this question a bit deeper, shall we? More >