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Radical view on self love

Don’t feel like reading it? Listen to it instead here:

I remember the day that my self-judgment voice totally changed into something surprising.

So simple, yet so profound. Still to this day, when I think back to this moment, I get goosebumps and smile. So I hope this one helps you the next time you’re feeling any sort of heart-achey.

It was right around Valentines Day a few years back.

My then-girlfriend and I separated. It was an amicable breakup, but it still hurt like hell. And it resurfaced a lot of old thoughts and beliefs.

I would find myself moping around the house in my bath robe, feeling really, really sorry for myself. Self pity, loneliness sinking all the way to my bones like an arctic chill. And even though I was over the shame of herpes specifically, the thoughts swirling in my head sounded all too familiar: “You’re totally alone again. Nobody loves you. Just give up.” (The perfect personification of Eeyore.) Blah blah blah. It was incessant, like a playground bully, taunting me.

Each thought lead to me feeling more down, like each was a shovelful of dirt, digging me deeper into the hole of depression. The shittier I felt, the more intense the thoughts became. The more intense the thoughts, the deeper I went. It was quite the vicious cycle.

And one day after rolling myself out of bed, as I poured my morning coffee, grabbed the vanilla creamer and …

I heard a new voice in my head …

a new thought that surprised me … More >

Protected: “How to never feel rejected” live call audio

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The herpes interview (Authentic Man Program)

Listen to this no BS conversation about H, dating, sex and culture.

A vulnerable, candid, revealing and informative interview that includes:

  • A quick rundown of the basic facts about herpes (and why they’re so important)
  • A personal story: What happened to me after my diagnosis when I called my mom
  • What can have herpes feel like such a dead end (and how it can actually be just the opposite)
  • How “The Herpes Talk” can actually make you and that special someone even closer together (instead of pushing them away).

Talk about this interview on our community forums!


Partner said they didn’t have herpes. How did I get it?

This is a question we see a lot on our Herpes Opportunity community forums. “How did I get herpes? My partner said they didn’t have it. How is this possible?”

Here are a few possible answers to consider …

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CatalystCon panel: Living with herpes, HIV, STIs

Many people living with an STI are too ashamed to admit their diagnosis. In the de facto hierarchy of STIs, Herpes and HIV are widely considered to be the “worst” to get because they are not curable. In this panel, we combine the knowledge and experience of sex educators and public health professionals, two of whom are “out” about having STIs themselves. We’ll discuss sex and dating with an STI, as well as navigating the stigma that exists in daily life. Knowledge is more contagious than STIs. According to the CDC, 1 in 3 Americans have an STI. Those statistics make this an important and relevant discussion for all sexuality professionals.

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Herpes then and now… thoughts from a life-long herpes carrier

Guest author from our community: WCSDancer2010

I don’t remember what it’s like to not have Herpes. Photo albums have pictures of me at around 3 years of age, with half my chin broken out in a big-assed cold sore. Snapshots of me passed out because I was running a temperature of 105 that always seemed to accompany the outbreaks. Memories of trips to multiple “specialists” and even a move to a bigger city that had a Teaching Hospital to try to figure out what was causing the fevers…when all along, the cause was staring them in the face.

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If you live your life in fear …

Guest author from our community: WCSDancer2010

This morning I was responding to some of the discussions on the Herpes Opportunity Forum and came across a question from a young gentleman who lives in a small town and who is concerned that if he discloses, that someone might “out” him and the whole community would learn of his H+ status. I want to post my response here because I think it is sooooo important that people learn the lesson that H is giving to many regarding how we often allow the Opinions and Ignorance of society to run our lives……

The young gentleman said:

“I watched About Last Night with Kevin Hart. In the movie he is trying to hit on several women and his ex walks up and scares them off. He asks her what she said to them , her reply was that he gave her herpes. He screams out I don’t have ‘fucking herpes’ — everybody in the film stops and looks at him. There is a bunch of laughing where I was watching it. It’s just awful feeling. Watching the jokes, hearing them, knowing that you would be shunned if people knew.”

Here is my reply:

So imagine you are watching that movie before you had Herpes. What would you have seen in that scene that is one of the lessons of the movie? (Because writers are usually writing about the Human Condition … how we live and react to what happens around us, there is often a message in the parts where there is a strong human interaction). What is the message of that scene? Play along with me….. I’m going to create a space here so you don’t see my answer immediately …

I want you to think about this on your own first …

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Herpes treatment

Guest author from our community: Ashley

Might also be helpful: Herpes medication »

I’ve had herpes for four years now. I take daily suppressive medication (Acyclovir) and that helps to keep outbreaks at bay. Early on, I didn’t have health insurance. I had to find more holistic remedies that didn’t cost me $50 per month. Below are the top herpes treatments that I’ve found and that work for me. There are plenty of others that you can find online, but I can’t speak to their efficacy.

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