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positive guide to herpes disclosure





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  • I'm looking forward to meeting you too! We're in this together
    in Scared Comment by Beckie July 2013
  • Yay you! That's awesome you overrode your initial thoughts to delete your post! Isn't it amazing how hard we are on ourselves? "Stupid"? "Pointless"? The things we tell ourselves are so powerful! It's no wonder so many of us hold ourselves bac…
    in Scared Comment by Beckie July 2013
  • LOVING the quotes on this post...thank you!!
  • HereComesTheSun, your name has made my day! I LOVE that song...here's a link to a George Harrison montage Mucho loveo! Beckie
  • Hey CR_19! So nice to hear from you! I know what a huge step it is to come out on these forums....sometimes it can take every ounce of courage we can muster. But you did it! That's honestly the hardest part. Becoming honest with yourself about …
    in Scared Comment by Beckie July 2013
  • Thanks for the post!
  • Hear, hear! Thank you for this inspiring post! I can absolutely relate to this, especially the part about finding it hard to assert accomplishments and abilities. And it's a real bugger. In attempts to be humble and not full of ego, many of us d…
  • HofG, I love your honesty (and the quotes you share...they are so awesome). And I can empathize with those days where you feel like it's just too heavy and you wanna get off the ride already. I know I've found it fairly shocking to discover how man…
  • Hey Lioness (LOVE the name btw:), As far as I know, antibodies start to develop right after contraction, so it would seem likely that you did get it from your ex if there were no antibodies present during your first outbreak. If anyone else has mo…
  • Hey C! Hope you got my response to your private message. In addition to that, one of the big things that I hear going on for you is that you're taking on more than your share of the responsibility for your partner getting H (which I can completely…
  • Welcome CL! I can relate to the situation you experienced with your ex. I had my initial outbreak during a long-term relationship, and we did a good job of shoving down the emotions while we were together, but during the breakup a lot of stuff cam…
  • I think about this often. During one of our discussions, Adrial described the stages of disclosure that he's gone through, and I really get that for myself. I took a big step with the YouTube video - if people want to find this out about me now, t…
  • Super heartwarming...thanks for sharing!!
  • Hey Booh, Welcome! I can really relate to the feeling of devastation that can surround the first outbreak. It's a really heavy time - you're dealing with the physical pain (which I know can be pretty awful) - but you've also been triggered emotio…
  • That's awesome, Abbeyroad! In the face of all that fear and doubt, feeling like you had something precious to lose, you still told him. THAT is courage. You rock! Thanks for sharing your update xo Beckie
  • Hey PositiveThinker (love the name!), I think you're totally doing what you need to do to deal with your parents, which is educate and empower yourself with information about this. Unfortunately, the stigma around herpes seems to have affected y…
  • Hi Ellemmell! Thank you for your beautifully vulnerable post. Can I just say, I think you're wonderful? Your sense of humour comes shining through your writing! I'm not queer, but I've certainly struggled with confusion around my sexuality (due …
    in Queer Herpes Comment by Beckie June 2013
  • Lelani, I love you! You are such an inspiration. And your post gave me goosebumps....whoo! Bring on the hot sex! lol Keep the updates coming...we obviously all love to read them Really hope I get to meet you someday in person xo Beckie
  • Hi Paige, Just wanted you to know I think you're beautifully courageous for finding this forum so soon after your diagnosis and reaching out. For me, finding support was something I couldn't do for a very long time, so I deeply respect and admire …
  • Hey sjj238, I can really relate to where you're at. For a long time, I couldn't even imagine I'd find a guy who was a really good match for me, who either had herpes or who didn't give a crap about the herpes. I had to go through all the layers o…
  • That is so beautiful Brenda. And what a testimonial for the H Opp Weekend! I'm really looking forward to meeting you and sharing in that experience with you. Much love, Beckie
  • Hey Max, I hear ya. The more neutral I get about having herpes, the more drastic and ridiculous the societal lens on this seems. It's a f**king skin condition! I really liked the article posted on the blog a few weeks back....it described exactly h…
  • Hey sjj238, Here's a quote about herpes transmission from one of the great handouts found on this site: "Herpes is transmitted via skin-to-skin contact in a warm/moist environment (mostly genitals/mouth). Herpes is transmitted only when the conta…
  • Hi Forever, As the saying goes, you're in the shit. I have been there, and I know it sucks the big one. It can feel helpless and hopeless....and losing hope can be a really scary thing. But I have to tell you, it's NOT TRUE that you're no use to…
    in A lost cause Comment by Beckie June 2013
  • How awesome! Your post reminded me of a beautiful fact that I absolutely love about life: we have the power to re-create ourselves every single day. That rocks. So yay you for choosing more love for yourself and others, accountability and gratitu…
  • Hello neighbour! I'm also from Winnipeg...that's awesome!! You've totally found the right resource...and so quickly! I'm super impressed you've taken charge of this situation and have sought out help and support so early on, even without knowing …
  • Right on! Thanks for sharing!!
  • That's cool you're able to pinpoint why you didn't disclose...now you've got something to work with! Now, if you want, you can start to kick some of those negative beliefs about yourself in the ass. Like the belief that having herpes makes you gro…
  • Hey Sayyywhatt, Try not to beat yourself up. I know I've certainly done things that I later berated myself about. The issue seems to be that your behaviour isn't lining up with who you want to be...otherwise you wouldn't be so upset about this. S…
  • Yay you! Go girl!