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positive guide to herpes disclosure






 

 

annalove

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annalove
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  • @tk1434 if you intend to continue seeing her it is my opinion you need to be honest. I have read and heard of many people taking different approaches to disclosing after having sex with someone. Some of them turned out positive, some negative. If y…
  • This is going to be a very unsatisfying response...but in my opinion there is no way to feel more confident about one of these partners over the other being your giver. Unless these are the only two men to have ever gone down on you or had sex with …
  • 1) I would ask for more details as to your test results. If it was a blood test from what I have read those often can be false positives. I wasn't diagnosed by blood work so I am confident I am positive...but if I had been diagnosed that way I would…
  • @Tere3 He didn't know what the risk of transmission was so I told him... If we have sex with no condom and no antiviral the risk is 4% With a condom or antiviral its 2% With both (as in the case with me) it would be 1% There are people will will f…
  • One other thing I will mention is that for me the one on one disclosure moment is really an opportunity to establish a new level of intimacy with someone. That is lost to some extent when you shout it from the roof tops by making a social media post…
  • The extent to which you are "open" is a decision that I think comes with reflection. My suggestion is to wait and tell people as it feels natural. I had my moment where I wanted to make a damn FB and Instagram post and say fuck it! But I also believ…
  • You haven't mentioned the specifics of whether you were being tested regularly for HSV. For the vast majority of us...there is some personal accountability that plays a role in us being positive. Most of us who find ourselves positive were not being…
  • I’m really sorry you have had to go through this. It can be for many people a very emotional and traumatizing moment when you find out you are HSV+ (mostly because we have all been told herpes is one of the two STDs you definitely DO NOT want). I ca…
  • Absolutely possible you are positive...and equally as possible you are negative. I dont know for sure who exposed me but there is someone I suspect. If it was him...the only symptoms I had came about 2 weeks after we started sleeping together and it…
    in exposure Comment by annalove January 29
  • I am sure you know this but male to female transmission rate is 10% with no antiviral or condom. I believe if he was to take a daily antiviral and you stopped using condoms the risk would be cut in about half to 4-5%. While it isn't impossible, co…
  • The show Broad City mentioned herpes twice in their last season. It reaffirmed why I LOVE that show because both mentions minimized being HSV+ First mention: Ilana is talking to her new boss and he is telling her the nicknames of her coworkers. He …
  • @stillstanding I guess it all goes back to the original question and why you posed it to begin with... "Is pursuing either spiteful revenge or my responsibility aka to ensure she doesn't do this to someone else?!?" It comes off to me like your urg…
  • HSV1 and HSV2 are different types of HSV...although genetically almost identical. If he has HSV2 and you give him oral sex while there is a chance you contract HSV2 orally, it is very very very unlikely. HSV2 by far prefers the genital area not the …
  • Your daughter can be HSV2 positive and also be a virgin. If a man has rubbed his penis in her genital area it easily could have spread that way. I dont know very much about false positives on blood work, but I would say that would be more of a possi…
  • I want to remark also from @kittenchops comment that even if you did alllllll of the above, it is still your word against hers. If you could prove that she knowingly had it you would then have to have a negative HSV test result from the day before t…
  • @Dumfounded yes I totally agree and before finding out I was HSV+ I had been rejected many times over for all sorts of reasons. I think the reason this hurt particularly bad is because I know he wanted to sleep with me. He told me on a scale of 1 to…
  • First thing is first, it sounds like what you are describing in your mouth is a keloid. A keloid is basically raised scar tissue and they occur very often with piercings. I would not worry about this bump right where your piercing was being herpes. …
  • @RegularGuy @Katidid @Dumfounded thank you all for the words of encouragement, it means so much. While I will never know what his real thought process was and why he went from being all over me to not being comfortable it is, in the end, the best …
  • While I empathize with your anxiety over this one time unprotected sex situation, my advice is to move on. There is a reason doctors dont test for it and its because it is so incredibly common it is possible you would come back positive for one type…
  • I sympathize with your situation and understand your desire to make someone "pay" for not disclosing their HSV status before having sex. But I think you need to weigh all the different possibilities of how you may have come to contract HSV. You didn…
  • I am going to keep my response as short and sweet as I can. The likelihood of you kissing someone with HSV-2, contracting the virus immediately, then kissing a girl giving it to her and then her giving it back to you genitally is pretty much impossi…
  • One thing I will say is that if the girl you are dating is in the medical field there is a much greater chance she is totally fine with HSV-2. While doctors also tend to take the “you don’t even need to disclose” stance, she should also be familiar …
  • My roommate has been long distance dating and when in person having sex (without a condom) a guy who had on multiple occasions made a herpes joke. She was aware of her status long before meeting him and upon realizing she had the potential of passin…
  • It sounds like you are seriously considering this guy from long term potential so I think honesty is what is most important here. It could go any which way but in the end you will continue forward knowing you were honest and gave him a choice. I thi…
  • A few things I want to address, but first and foremost you are not dirty or damaged goods. You simply had sex and was exposed to a very common virus that people contract all the time both on their genitals and on their faces. Are people who kiss …
  • Hello @lostandconfused99 and @wendy711 I am hoping to offer even the slightest bit of encouragement. I am only about 6 months in to my own diagnoses. Writing words like diagnoses and herpes is even still difficult for me. I am 28 and a single femal…
  • @HikingGirl i completely agree with you about making assumptions about who exposed me, but in my situation I also had an unusual physical symptom right after I began sleeping with this guy I now know used to escort. So there are some other reasons w…
  • I have not yet personally disclosed to a romantic partner so I dont know exactly what you're going through. What I will say though is that I have toyed with the idea of not disclosing to past partners and becoming intimate with them again, simply be…