Opinions please

[Ashton555]

I had unprotected sex almost 2 months ago. I have not had an outbreak of any kind. The guy I slept with said he was clean... yes I know stupid on my part for trusting him. It was a one time thing. I was subsequently tested and everything was negative but my Gyno doesn’t test for Herpes unless there is an outbreak. I have gone back a couple of times for reassurance about Herpes and she has said to stop worrying that my chances of contracting were very slim. I guess I would just like to hear it from anyone else who has been in my shoes. I worry about possibly passing this unknowingly to someone else in the future if there were ever a time to not need protection. I have completely stressed myself out over this. The only thing I’ve had is a weird sensation in my genital area but it’s gone on for over a week and my Gyno said it was probably something to do with a current yeast infection. Any help is greatly appreciated. Thank you

[annalove]

While I empathize with your anxiety over this one time unprotected sex situation, my advice is to move on. There is a reason doctors dont test for it and its because it is so incredibly common it is possible you would come back positive for one type or the other and secondly it will more than likely be a massive shock and emotionally difficult if you are positive.

 

My suggestion...use condoms. If you feel it is the right thing to do, continue to ask partners whether they have been tested since their last partner. Regardless of their answer, you will have to take them on their word unless you ask to see paperwork. Sex is risky and unless you avoid it all together, the risk is there regardless.

 

If you and a new partner decide you dont want to use condoms any longer you can also choose to have a discussion about HSV with them before you stop using condoms. Ask if they've ever been tested, let them know you have not been tested and decide as a couple how you would like to proceed. He will either 1) want to go get tested together so you both are aware of your status or 2) will say he would like to proceed without knowing his own or your status. In this way you are sharing the sexual health responsibility.

 

Side note: one thing I would recommend you avoid doing moving forward to using terminology like "clean". Those of us with HSV are not "dirty" we simply carry a very common virus. While I cant say for sure who gave me herpes, I had a STD testing conversation with the person I suspect gave it to me. So there is only so much you can do to protect yourself

 

 

[Ashton555]

Thank you so much for your insight. I hope I didn’t offend anyone with the “clean “ remark. His words, not mine. I’m just a very high anxiety person so I hope I’ve been stressing for nothing. Thank you again.