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Scared to disclose - especially since I am newly diagnosed


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I have been newly diagnosed with herpes for about three months. I met a guy around the same time of the diagnosis and he is really sweet and has done a lot for me already. I know he cares for me but I am scared of his reaction to disclosing because we are so young and because of the stigma attached to herpes. Our relationship has been progressing and I know its time for me to disclose but I really am terrified for a number of reasons.

1.) fear of rejection - We have tons of mutual friends and I know I will continue to see him all the time. If he rejects me I know I'm going to be very sad about it.

2.) fear of passing it on - If he accepts me, I would be devastated if I gave it to him. Since my diagnosis, I have been suffering from basically ongoing outbreaks. We would most likely have to abstain from sex for a while. I am taking valtrex and trying to live a moderately healthy lifestyle but these outbreaks will not stop.

 

I'm just so scared of his reaction. We are young and in our early 20's. Why would he want to risk getting herpes with me?

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Sweetheart my heart breaks for you and I completely relate to and understand your fears. Do you have someone you can talk to face to face in your area? Do you think you can trust him to keep your HSV confidential? The rate of transmission from a female to a male with Valtrex and condom use and no outbreak is very low. Do you have some resources you could share with him?

 

Be brave honey. You can do this!

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