i haven't officially found anything out yet but i am awaiting test results and am worried sick.

[j1879]

hello, i'm 34, male, married for 9 years and in monogamous relationship with my wife for 11. about 5 weeks ago i developed a rash in my groin/legs/buttocks/penis that has not resolved. initially figuring it was related to some kind of contact dermatitis from horseback riding in Ireland while on vacation, i put some cortisone on it and waited for it to go away. 2 weeks in, i went to urgent care. the PA said it looked like herpes but i said that couldn't be possible given my very low risk history and lifestyle. he gave me an antifungal which hasn't done much other than help the itch on my legs and buttocks. yesterday, now at 5 weeks after noticing the rash, i went to my primary, hoping to get an oral steroid to kill the rash, but she kept asking the herpes questions. i'm aghast that all of this as it seems incredibly unlikely. she took a fluid sample and had me blood/urine tested for a number of diseases. she said that she doesn't know what it is and will send me to a dermatologist if the results are negative, but that there is a small chance it could be herpes. i am awaiting results and will hopefully get them back tomorrow or the next day at the latest. i am a wreck right now. this should not be happening.

 

my wife is the only woman i have had sex with. i had oral sex with a girl one other time in college (13 years ago) and even contacted her out of the blue on Facebook to see if she had ever been diagnosed. she said she has never had a problem and was a virgin when we met, so i'm crossing her off the list. i love my wife more than anything and have never been unfaithful for a second. i wouldn't even know how to flirt if i tried and have no interest in seeking anything outside my relationship. if this comes back positive, my wife is the only other logical possibility. i have full trust in her and do not question if there was any infidelity, recently or in the past. she has never had a symptom in her life. we have never had problems in our relationship and are always open with each other. i have never in our time together had any suspicion about anything, no late nights, no mystery texts or emails, nothing of the sort. our relationship is excellent overall. i know she was tested for numerous diseases when she had our children but not sure if herpes was included for that. reading online it's not conclusive if that's what she was tested for. naturally if i am positive she will get tested too. maybe it is possible that in her past (she has a more extensive sexual history than me) she contracted it and just never showed any symptoms. we have talked about these possibilities openly with each other, still holding out hope that this is some weird dermatitis of some kind.

 

i am so emotionally distraught at the moment. these things are not supposed to happen to someone like me. this should not be happening. my symptoms, two red bumps each on my scrotum and penis head, that are NOT painful and have not really changed in 5 weeks, no bursting, no scabbing, no burning urination. those bumps don't even itch. i never had a fever or other associated symptoms. i know things can present in odd, different ways sometimes, but so much just seems random. neither of us ever having a symptom in our lives, having unprotected sex and oral sex probably several hundred times over the years, the weird timing with the horseback riding and associated leg rash that looks different than penis/scrotum spots that appeared at the EXACT same time. this is completely out of the blue. i have been a hypochondriac my whole life and convince myself i have terrible diseases or conditions based on minor symptoms. it's what i do. this is all crazy. that being said, we've looked at a million other contact rashes online and nothing totally adds up. the look the doctor gave me when she looked at the rash indicates to me she thinks it's herpes and i can't even stand the thought of it. i still can't believe i'm typing this right now.

 

i'm wondering how my life is going to change tomorrow or the next day if the diagnosis is confirmed. is this waiting and not knowing the worst of it? will i have a panic attack? i know there is no cure, only treatment. if both my wife and i are positive, i guess it doesn't really change anything in our day-to-day lives or sex lives, apart from potential breakouts. she has never had a symptom. if the first breakout is the worst, these little red bumps are inconvenient but unless i'm anxiously looking at my penis every time i pee, i don't notice it. maybe i go on Valtrex or whatever and this never comes back again. we have talked openly about what this would mean. we are married and monogamous and that would not change. my identity feels completely upside down. l just want to be home, holding my wife and children. i want to cry all the time. i nearly cry when i'm spending time with my children right now. i don't want to exercise (though i am making myself as i always do), listen to music, read, or anything i typically enjoy. i am filled with anxiety and disbelief.

 

i'm just getting all of this off my chest trying to process this unfortunately likely possibility. thank you for the support.

 

anonymous

[JeffH]

Herpes doesn't last for 5 weeks, especially without changing. Given your sexual history you there is basically no chance you have herpes.

 

Again, what you're describing is not herpes.

[j1879]

thank you for being reassuring. i seriously hope you are right. in my rational mind, there is no reason why it would make sense, given the symptoms, duration, and history as you said. it's just very upsetting when two medical professionals start asking me herpes-related questions and sticking a needle in my dick and taking fluid from the "vesicle" that "almost looks ulcerated," it sort of ruins my day!

 

i wanted the visit to my primary MD to alleviate my concern, instead she only made me more nervous, asking if my wife had ever been tested or had an outbreak, asking me about other herpes symptoms, etc. i will find out tomorrow or Friday at the latest and hopefully this will blow over. if it is not herpes, there is still the matter of what the hell it is, if it is contagious or not, if it can be treated, and why it's not getting better. so there's that.

 

i keep reminding myself that i always do this when something potentially debilitating comes up. i had neck pain and shooting arm numbness a couple of years ago, convinced myself it was a herniated disc and needed neck surgery that would paralyze me, then had an MRI and it was perfectly normal, just muscle tightness. i agonized for months and months only to have it be nothing. i used to wake up with erections and take forever to pee early in the morning or middle of the night, then convinced myself i had BPH or prostate cancer at age 30. I am prone to these worst case scenario reactions and always fear something life-altering. I am also always wrong about it. hopefully that is all i am doing right now.

 

thanks again for responding.

[JeffH]

It is simply not possible for the same herpes blisters to last that long. It would also be uncommon, although not at all impossible, for them NEVER to itch. Your doctors should know better. Certainly, I would avoid sexual contact because who knows what it is, but it ain't herpes.

[hippyherpy]

So you've got a few bumps that don't hurt on your joint. No need to be worried sick regardless of whether or not they are herpes.

[j1879]

well, luckily all of my tests came back negative for a number of STDs including HSV! so that's a big relief to say the least. as usual i made a mountain out of a molehill, but man my doctor had me scared. given my history and lifestyle the thought of that was so shocking i just could't grasp how it could be possible. honestly the bumps do look like vesicles and closer to any other rash i've seen pictures of. still need to find out what the problem is and i still await the culture results, but luckily this will not be a problem for me. it must still be some strange contact dermatitis of some kind like i originally thought. thanks for the brief support LOL. good luck to everyone. deactivating account in 3..2..1....