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Facts about passing on herpes?


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labia band-aid! good one! definately sounds like a band name too!

speaking of suppressives..it is something I would definately consider if I was going to be in an intimate relationship with someone, but what I am concerned about is the cost? Does it differ from province to province, or state to state? Or is it relatively the same price anywhere you go? I have heard it is quite expensive, which makes it difficult when you're a student :(

 

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[Note: I am not a doctor. Consult your doc and don't take this post as medical advice.] I buy my meds (Acyclovir) through my local grocery store (Kroger) pharmacy for $40 for a 3-month supply (400mg 2x/day). And I don't have regular insurance (one of the perks of being self-employed.) Valtrex is super expensive, especially if you don't have a nice insurance plan. But everything I've read and heard says that Acyclovir and Valtrex are practically the same, you just have to take Acyclovir 2x/day instead of taking Valtrex once (V is time-released). Anyway, point is, herpes medication is super cheap! ;) (I just wonder about the long-term health effects of taking a daily medication like that. I have my eye more on that than the cost.)

This content is for informational purposes only. This information does not constitute medical advice or diagnosis. I'm not a medical professional, so please take this as friendly peer support. 

Helpful resources:

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To VirgoGirl, I go to Walgreens for mine, and generic Valtrex (Valacyclovir) is $10 per refill, that I'm aware. I'm not in a relationship and kind of want to see how my body reacts before I decide to go on daily suppressive therapy, but if you can ger generics of anything they're usually way cheaper. I think brand-name Valtrex is $45 through Walgreens, which is ridiculous.

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Hi Adrial, oh of course, SEO, help all those people who have H acting like a dangerous criminal find a haven with you and your community, like we all have . Love the "dangerous criminal", exactly how "outbreak" occurs to me too.

 

Mmm, I'll wait for first release from famous Bandaid on Labia! can't imagine the title.......:-)

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woe... Valacyclovir refills for $10?? where do you live?? I might have to consider the move just for the cheap V!

 

I'm uninsured. I live in NYC. I purchase a one-month supply of Valacyclovir for a feisty $160.

 

I also take L-Lysine+Olive leaf+Atragalus (the natural version).

 

If anyone knows of an online option where Valacyclovir can be purchased cheaply, do hit me up. I'm dating someone :) He's HSV-

 

much LUV

Carlos

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So, I just mine refilled. I use the acyclovir because it just seems to work better for me. I'm supposed to take it twice a day 400mg but I only take it once a day. I definitely need to supress. I paid 15.00 for a 90 day supply. Valtrex is one of the most expensive meds out there. Always ask if you do have insurance if you can do a 90 day supply its always cheaper than a one month. If I were to pay a one month supply its 7 dollars (generic) so, Its cheaper for me to get a 90 day supply but you have to ask your Dr. to write it out for you that way IF your health insurance will pay for it that way. BCBS does.

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I got HSV 1 while using a condom and only had sex with the person one time. And 3 days later, a sore. He had no symptoms and still doesn't. So condoms don't mean much at all. I never knew that. I don't remember reading or learning that. But my doctor said that if you don't have a sore, who cares? That was her attitude. It was very scary. I can't not tell though. It would live on my conscience and I wouldn't want someone else to feel the pain I feel. I wondered if anyone else had symptoms that felt like a bladder infection rather than sores? I'm feeling that way and I think it's the herp and not a bladder infection. I will see my doctor soon. I'm doing the Lysine with vitamin c and other vitamins plus the daily Acyclovir and haven't had sores since the first time.

 

I can't wait to see Labia BandAid! Are they playing at you seminar in October? :-p

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Hi singbluesilver, I just wanted to relate with you and let you know that when I feel a genital HSV 1 episode coming on I don't get itchy or tingly. Instead, my entire vagina becomes extremely sore like all of the muscles are sore and it does sometimes resemble a bladder infection because it's a very internal feeling and this is when no sores are present. I have not had sores since first time either! Thank god we are lucky huh? :) no jinxing :)

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Thanks for all the info guys!

 

Those prices do seem rather inexpensive. In canada, where I am from, It seems to be much higher. The Doc prescribed me valtrex, a 3 day supply for almost $30! I guess I will need to talk to a doctor about it. the cost really freaked me out.

 

I am more interested in taking natural medicine though, so would like to start taking the 'L-Lysine+Olive leaf+Atragalus' mixture because that is what I would prefer. thanks Carlos! But if need be that I need suppressive therapy, I will do what I can to protect my partner when the time comes.

 

and thanks Crissy for the info as well :) I will ask about the acyclovir. It seems like the more efficient way to go, for me, being a broke student.

 

 

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  • 2 months later...

hi,

 

well there are all this statistic, am i aloud to ask you guys, did you ever infect somebody yourself when you didnt had an outbreak.i dont meet nobody neither since i got it and i know it can be always infective ,but did you ever infect somebody yourself?.i meen i feel the symtoms before it comes up,i feel that the virus is at this moment down there. they say that 70 percent of person get infected of people who dont have outbreaks,are this person who never had an outbreak and live witout symtoms ,so they cant tell if the virus is around or are this always person who had already outbreak and they couldnt read the symtom at this point?maybe you can give me your personal statistic ,experience not the one from the internet.do anybody had experience like that?

thanks

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Hi Judith! :)

 

The questions you are asking are legitimate, but very hard for most people to answer. Some people have noticeable sensations before they have an outbreak, and some don't. Some people may not be given the opportunity to know whether they spread it to someone else because Herpes can lie dormant in the body for a long time and they may have had multiple partners by the time they experience their first outbreak.

 

I have a good friend who has been married to her husband who has HSV-2 genitally and they don't use condoms. He is on suppressive therapy and rarely has an outbreak. They avoid sex during outbreaks and they have been married for 9 years and she hasn't tested positive.

 

I am sure there are similar stories. And I'm sure there are just as many where the spouse contracted HSV-2...

 

I am linking you to a really great resource for information on transmission:

http://www.westoverheights.com/herpes.htm

 

And here is a downloadable booklet produced by this clinic that has a lot of great information about diagnosis, transmission, etc. and it is kept up to date.

http://westoverheights.com/handbook.html

 

Hope that helps...

Kristin

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  • 1 month later...

I am a 32 year old woman who has been diagnosed with herpes in April of 2012. i have recently told my partner of 4 months that i have it. We haven't been intimate but we have kissed maybe once or twice. Is there any chance that he can have it. Even though I wasn't going through an ob.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Hello-

I am New and awaiting membership, can any one please advise, Ive been in a relationship for a few years, my partner knows I have H, weve been safe, occasionally the partner refuses to use protection for 5 min or so...I plead and beg for the partner to use one but the partner is selfish...we will use protection after that and recently I just recovered after 3 weeks having an outbreak etc we recently were intimate and the above happened...I feel fine no symptoms but am scared if the partner gets something , but friends say: "you have told your partner about H and being intimate with protection it is his own fault..this relationship is ending hasn't gone good, but I guess my question is: do I feel guilty if the partner contracts something even after my efforts and honesty about H? please help..

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@ Steve,

While there is a chance that you could have contracted something in such a small window it is not as likely as you might think. Asymptomatic shedding does happen but it's not all the time, and there's no reliable way to tell if someone is shedding. I would get tested just to check and be sure, then maybe test again a little further on. In the mean time I would probably abstain from sex until you know what your status is because you wouldn't want to unknowingly pass it on yourself if in fact you did pick it up.

 

@ Shy,

Welcome to what I feel is the best forum for herpes on the internet. Your situation is unenviable, but as you said you have been insistent on the use of protection (though even condoms are not 100%), and your partner refused. At that point it is on them and a consequence of their own decision as I see it. The only thing I would ask is why could you not stop mid-act if the use of protection was refused? There are two sides to this because you are protecting your partner as much as yourself. Personally I would feel bad, but I would not feel guilty after providing a full disclosure. After all we are able to make rational decisions for ourselves right?

 

Ultimately for each of us here who does end up in a relationship with a partner who is H- we all run the risk of passing it to them. There are measures we can take to reduce the chances of that happening, but in the end nothing is 100%. This is why H can be an opportunity to help us be more discerning in who we choose to be with. The partner who loves us for the person we are is what we look for and H does not define who we are as people.

 

I hope that some of this was helpful...

 

:) CBK

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I am a 57 year old woman who is divorced, always have been overweight, and finally in 2010 I went through a gastric bypass and lost 88 pounds. Finally after all these years my confidence came back!! I last saw my ex in March 2012, met my new guy in November. He told me he had been tested for std's so I thought I should go do that to have a clean bill of health to show him in return. Well in Jan I tested negative for everything except Herpes 2 and the weird thing is I have never had an outbreak that I know of. My new guy and I have had unprotected sex already. Well turns out his doctors office told him that because his white blood count has never been elevated when he has his routine testing (cholesterol, etc.) that he is disease free. How could a doctors office be so uneducated? Anyway, we are still seeing each other and he is getting tested this coming Monday. I am devastated by this and our relationship was coming along so well, now is weird. He tells me hes sorry he cant have sex with me and held me the other night while I cried about it. I cant find any reliable realistic info that tells me how safe sex is without outbreaks, how not to buy into the fear about this. I think this is a man I could be with forever, and I wonder if he will resent me if he doesnt have it and I end up giving it to him,

I kinda hope he has it too but I feel so selfish and guilty about felling that way!!

My confidence in him, myself, fairness, God, even life itself is wavering on the brink. I would never kill myself, but I am feeling that my life is over when I felt I had found someone who is not a jerk after all these years of abuse and low self esteem, thanks for letting me vent.

Could someone tell me the truth, is there any evidence that someone can catch h2 by going down on them if there are never any symptoms?

 

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Hi divastated,

 

It is good to hear that you have regained your self confidence. That confidence will definitely be helpful. Having H affects everyone slightly differently, but it is certainly not what pop culture would have us believe. While we have it, H does not own us nor does it define us. I have now accepted it as the opportunity to be more discerning about who I allow into my life. If they can't handle a minor skin condition how will they deal with major life issues? This is where it concerns me to see you write that he is "sorry he can't have sex with you." It hurts to be honest, but you'll need a partner who has a better perspective on this and is capable of being supportive of you in a time of need. Also, as an adult if he accepted that explanation from a doctor I question whether he's as concerned with facts as you are. I also wouldn't expect any doctors offices to have a strong understanding of H. There is a handbook available on the Westover Heights Clinic website under a link for herpes on their main page.

 

H is a crafty thing. Since you've not had a recognized episode it isn't possible to say for certain that what you have is a genital or oral infection. The blood test just tells which type. It used to be thought that 1 was oral and 2 was genital, but we now understand they are interchangeable. Though a type 2 oral infection is said to have fewer recurrences than if it were genital.

 

It is possible to get type 2 orally after oral sex even when there are no symptoms. That is how I ended up with 2 on top of 1, when she disclosed after the fact. But I have to stress that it is not that common. Asymptomatic shedding of the virus is not constant, and it's not something you can necessarily recognize.

 

With that said, I am back out dating using a mainstream non-H dating site. I'm having fun, and I know that I don't have to disclose to a woman just because we met. There is time to see if there's any connection first. And there are plenty of people out there who won't care. Also, this forum is a great resource with many positive people willing to help.

 

:) CBK

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Hi Divastated,

 

I understand how scary Herpes is at first, and I want to thank you for taking the healthy approach of asking questions and getting the facts. I am so happy that you've come to a forum to ask questions and share your story. Congratulations on the healthier you and regaining your confidence. As you learn the facts about herpes, your confidence will come back. You're doing everything perfectly :)

 

To answer your question, I remember looking up the same question that you had, and finding out that it's very rare to pass HSV-2 through oral sex.

I found information from a medical doctor who states "Oral herpes due to HSV-2 is rare; almost all cases are due to HSV. Therefore, it is rare for someone to aquire genital HSV-2 from oral sex, if it happens at all. In 30+ years in the STD business, I have not seen or even heard of such a case."

 

Your new guy seems sweet, and it sounds like he's willing to learn about herpes with you. The more you know, the less scary it all is. You are doing everything right though. You both got tested; something came up; you're learning about it and he's getting tested specifically for herpes now. I understand your fear of having him resent you if you ever gave it to him; and that's why it's best to have an authentic conversation with him. When you feel comfortable, let him know about any worries or fears that come up for you. You have been 100% honest with him, which is so respectable- and I know he appreciates that! Having vulnerable conversations about anything (not just herpes) are a great way to connect on a deeper level.

 

I came across a quote last night that I want to share,

 

"It’s easy to take off your clothes and have sex. People do it all the time. But opening up your soul to someone, letting them into your spirit, thoughts, fears, future, hopes, dreams… that is being naked." — Rob Bell

 

Good luck with everything. Lots of love!

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Thanks Cedar, I appreciate you answering my questions. And I loved the quote. I just want this initial freakout to be over, also CBK, I have to say I didnt know much about HSV-2 until I found out I have it so I am trying to be as understanding with him as he is trying to be with me. And he is still with me - he didnt run - so theres hope I think. I just hate this limbo we are in, when his results come back we can make an informed decision about where to go from here. I was leaning towards just walking away if he doesnt have it, but my son gave me some great advice - he said let my guy decide if he wants to be with me, dont take that decision away from him. I so appreciate this site!

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I've been trying to read up on HSV and whatnot, and I was just wondering, is it possible to have sex with someone (not condom) and not give them herpes if I am asymptomatic? I know that sounds like a stupid question, but I recently found out I am HSV-2positive and trying to figure out who I contracted it from as to tell them they should get tested.

 

Thanks a lot everyone, and all of the posts have been very helpful!

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HI awshucks,

 

80 % of all people who have Herpes have no symtoms and around 70 % of new Herpes infection come from people who dont know that they have it....so actually you can have it from all your partners ...with or without condom.When i get my outbreaks they are normally on parts which is not saved by condom,so protection will not help to protect infect another pesron.Its not stupid question, its only something nobody know about :)i didnt was aware of this fact before neither......it can be years ago that you got it from somebody...thats a question you will never get an answer too..but you know about this fact now and you can act responsible .maybe somebody of your ex partner knew and didnt told you because this person was ashamed or didnt want to be get rejected but this doesnt metter anymore , its more important that you forgive and try to be responsible about having herpes.Its better to be a good and honest person.....if we all deal with herpes genitales ( hate that word :( )in a open way then it will be not that big deal anymore...a lot off people have it but nobody talk about it or dont know that they have it.so sorry i cant give you a clear answer o that question but i hope you are well .wish you good weeked....dont think about to much...meet some friends and cheer up.big hug .besos judith

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