So confused

This is my first time posting and I'm so stressed out. I have been with my husband for 13 years and just had what I think was my first outbreak a few months ago. So first I'll give a little back story of my life. When I was a teenager I was brutally raped and beat almost to death, I was kept pretty much sedated for a couple of weeks. Well in Oct 2017 I felt like I had a yeast infection and I noticed about 3 days into symptoms that I had a small lump. It hurt to the touch but it was just a small bump and nothing else, well several days passed and it wasn't healing. I contacted my gyn and went in for an exam, he said he didn't feel like it was anything serious but for would do a viral culture. Well over a weekend the results came to my chart and I was shocked to see hsv2 was positive. He called a few days later and apologized for the way I found out and told me to take the anti viral medication he sent to the pharmacy. The medicine helped immediately, then the end of Dec I had another outbreak and again in Feb. My doctor believes I contracted hsv2 from the rape and that I'm just now having issues but I'm not so sure. I was assaulted in 1999 and just can't fathom going almost 20 years without an outbreak but now having them about every two months. My husband claims he has never cheated but I'm not truly convinced he is telling the truth. We have went through some devastating situations in our marriage and about 8 yrs ago I discovered him texting another woman and then in Dec he was talking to another woman. I guess I'm wondering if it's possible that I really got this almost 20 yrs ago or if anyone thinks it's likely that my husband cheated and this is a new virus. I will say I had a traumatic surgery and almost died, I required an emergency hysterectomy and over 13 gallons of blood transfusions to survive. So I'm not sure if a change in my hormones could have caused this virus to start causing issues. I'm just super confused and stressed out. All I keep thinking is if my marriage ends that I'll be alone forever, I have kids and just feeling like with this now that I'll never find anyone. Sorry this was so long!

My doctor said it could take years to show up , did u get the blood test done to see if you had antibodies for it? My situation is almost similar I got a full on ob couldn’t walk for 2 weeks 4 months from possibly catching it, thought it was my ex because we had slept together a couple days before and he came back negative for both

They haven't done any blood work at all. They haven't even brought me in since getting my positive culture. They pretty much just left me with the diagnosis and no information.

You can't get herpes from a blood transfusion. Having herpes we can still give blood actually. I'd say it's more likely that you got it from your husband rather than 20 years ago but herpes is so hard to pinpoint who gave it to you because it can take weeks/months/years to show signs. If things don't work out with your husband, you definitely can date again. Good luck and best wishes!

I'm sorry I think my post came across a little confusing, I know someone can't get it from a blood transfusions I was saying during those I required an emergency hysterectomy and was wondering if the hormone change caused me to start having outbreaks. Because that is what my Dr claims happened but I wasn't sure. I do appreciate your input, and even though I could date again if I choose to it just feels so devastating and I can't imagine starting all over. Thank you for your response :) I just can't wait until I get to a point where I don't stress all day everyday about this and when I feel like I'm not in shock. I still feel sick and devastated over this.

It is entirely possible that changing hormones has caused an otherwise dormant infection to start showing symptoms.

While there are other possibilities of how and why, dwelling on those thoughts only leads to more sadness and anger.

I am sure you know well the harm that entertaining that sadness and that anger can cause, for you and those closest to you.

I think that it is important to treat your suspicions and your medical diagnosis separately.

Choose priorities. Weigh out what is most important to you and act on those priorities.

I assume you will decide that your health and ability to have relief from symptoms would be most important. If so, consider taking suppression medicine like valacyclovir daily to prevent symptoms.

Outside of that, your suspicion regarding your husband's integrity are a symptom of entirely separate circumstances. Don't be tempted to use a diagnosis as the reason to unhinge a potentially great relationship, especially considering the strength of that relationship has provided the kind of resilience it takes to endure bad times and stay together.

I won't ever advocate someone leaving or staying in a relationship that has been strong for so long as you have, and I think it would be inappropriate for anyone to do so.

I would advocate taking the time to take a step back and look inside yourself to determine if there is any internal struggles fueling your resentment. Finding yourself facing a very real struggle with such a diagnosis is definitely going to rattle anyone's sense of identity and security.

Resolve those thing before you commit to any actions that would sour your relationship.

And don't take relationship advice from strangers who only know 3 paragraphs about your life and your family.

Thank you so much i definitely appreciate your advice! I will definitely take time to think about everything. This has been such shock and I just feel absolutely lost I know this has to get easier at some point and seeing the strength that you and others have gives me hope. Thank you for your kindness!

Hi, you've dealt With a traumatic past and I know that must be hard. I wanted to say hi and share.

I'm new to this forum and recently find out I have HSV2. I've read and read and read different things, forums, personal experiences. And it seems yes it is possible to have the virus dormant for many years,a couple of decades and then it pops up out of the blue. Stress, hormone changes, anything could trigger it coming to the surface. I believe it for myself too and doubt very much my spouse cheated, we're in.a good relationship. So I hope that may help, You could have easily had this a very long time before it decided to pop up. And reflect back also have you ever had mild itching, or what you think is a hair bump or scratch in the past. That's what I have thought and it's like oh well I did have some itching issue but thought it was detergent, I had a what I thought was a zit in my pubic area. Those things could have been related to the virus and had no clue. Only my recent experience is my first break out that is classic symptoms of herpes.

Painful Blister, tingling, .Etc. And I got officially diagnosed to my shock and horror. I'm still processing it. I've been trying to relax and calm the anxiety. Is hard I know.

Yes, just believe it will get better. It just has to. I even found a youtube calming music for genital healing, lol. Go look.for it. It's very relaxing. And Another video for nervous. It's amazing what healing music is out there. I don't know if we can eradicate the virus but i do feel If we build our immune system up With the right diet, healthy lifestyle, good attitude , practice meditation or something to calm our nervous system down. Breathing exercises, get oxygen in. I think it's possible we can calm everything down and make the little herpy buggar go to sleep.

That's what I'm hoping. I wish this for you too.

You aren't alone.

I'm grateful for this group. I don't feel so alone either now.

Thank you so much! I never had any bumps, scratches or anything like that however after having my 3rd child I was nursing him exclusively no formula ever and I kept getting extreme itching like a yeast infection without the discharge. My ob/gyn did exams and said it appeared that it was possibly low hormone levels (no blood work to confirm) from the the delivery and nursing was causing things to become very dry at that point he gave me cream to use and it seemed to help. I wonder if it was actually hsv2 and I just didn't notice. My husband has never had any indication of an outbreak the entire time we have been together. I didn't get extremely sick with the first outbreak that confirmed it was hsv so I think it's very likely to have been from the assault.

Yes it can lay completely dormant for that long... and also the surgery you had and the trauma to your body could have def triggered it.