newbie / denial / sigh

Long story short - I wasn’t safe. I had unprotected sex in October 17, though never had OB or visiblef lesions, was treated for my all too usual yeast infection that was common for me. Everything went away with yeast infection meds (note: after this occurance I had unprotected sex again and everything carried on as normal body would). Last time I was sexual would be early Dec 17 and everything was per usual. I felt extremely healthy all through Jan-Feb, not and ich or weird feeling at all.

Fast forward a 2 months later, I had unprotected sex the last weekend of Feb 18 with a new partner who had a well reputation and told me he was clean. We had sex a lot of times and it was rather painful for me. I realize I played with fire and most likely have to sleep in the bed I made or however those sayings work...

On Monday, I wake up groggy and sore (though I thought it was due to my weekend hangover of a partyr, rough amounts of sex and I took an extremely body tasking workout on Saturday). My outside vigina was sore and hard until Tuesday, though I thought it was because of the rough sex. My upper thighs were sore and slight sore body, mostly Monday only, though I thought it was my crazy workout I attended. I still have discharge and itchiness, common with me as I’ve battled yeast my whole life. My discharge is a bit different, for example, when I lay in bed it could make a puddle under me. On Wednesday, it started to hurt to pee but ended by Thursday. I went to the doctors. It was a nurse practitioner, who stated she found two lesions (one on each side inside my vigina), had to cut them open ((OUCH)) and swabbed.

I started to take Valtrex and lysterine today. Also, testing out tea tree oils. Had blood work done. I’m now waiting. My bottom is tingling or maybe I’m being paranoid.

Moving on, I’ve always led my life with integrity and a honesty. I have everything going for me. Educated, 25 years old, live in one of the best cities with an amazing career. I work out a lot and put a lot of effort into being my best self. I was happy. I had a perfect life and never had an illness, not even glasses!

This diagnosis has slapped me in the face. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to battle this infection and daily precautions as I’m a carefree human. I feel like my life is going to slowly fall apart and everything I wished for will never happen.

I’m not sure what response I’m looking for, as I already can feel my test result fate, but I haven’t been okay mentally since Sunday. And to think, I thought I had the world at my palms on Saturday.

Wondering next steps... can I still work out (running, yoga, and spinning), can I drink wine/coffee, will I always tingly and like a swamp? Also, sad about not dating for a long, long time...

Best,

As positive as it gets

I know how you feel. I’m 26 and in the same boat. I graduated from a good college with a promising career. I made a stupid stupid mistake and had sex with a woman I actually told myself I wouldn’t (because she’s so dishonest). I felt/feel like everything I had done prior is for nothing. It’s been 3 weeks. I’ve missed worked and layed in bed just hoping to die. But those negative thoughts come less and less. 70% of the country has hsv1 and 20% has hsv2. This wasn’t your fault. The right man will come to you, and when he does the connection will be authentic. You’re not a leper. You’re a human. You can still do fun things with your girlfriends. If you ever want to talk feel free to message me. I’ve been doing this on my own and maybe I’m not even saying the right things but if I can do anything to help I will. Message me anytime!!

Stayinghappy - I am 50 but can relate. I had my primary OB at the New Year. I had sex with a guy twice in December without a condom, stupid me!! The second time I was infected. But seriously herpes is a skin infection, not fluid, even with a condom I would have probably been infected. The first time was a quicky, but the second, I was ALL over him, For at least an hour!! I would have gotten it regardless!

January- mentally I was going to kick H's ass!!

February- mentally I was down, angry, horrified by my behavior. I missed work, confronted my giver in a way I am not proud of.

March - back to myself!! I even went out with a friend tonight- a guy slipped me a note with his number. Not interested, threw it in the trash - but I am still the sexy lady I was before H!!

I didn't graduate college, I am smart in a different way. I started my own business at the age of 26. Many successful years (and more to come!!) a healthy retirement fund, FICO in the 800's, own my own home, my car is paid for, single mom - raised my girl on my own and paying cash for her college!! I am still that amazing woman regardless of H!

Adrial is right, H is an Opportunity to approach life in a different way! A friend (doesn't know about my diagnosis) wants to introduce me to a quality guy!! I am going to take it slowly, not jump into bed with him. Maybe this will be my forever guy, maybe I won't be interested in him. Either way, my casual hook-ups are over. Time for real relationships. Before H, I might have fucked this up!! In the past, I jumped into bed too quickly. Not going do that this time!!

You sound like you have your life on track - you are going to be just fine. It will take a while. I am now 3 months out and just getting there myself. When I think of everything I have been through in 50 years - herpes is minor!! Allow yourself to grieve a bit, but don't wallow in it. Be hurt, be angry, you deserve that - then face it like you have tackled other obstacles in you life. It will get better, it just takes time!! Sending love to you!!

@reanthony1 thank you for the kind words. When nothing else seems to be helping, this community helps. I wish the same to you.

@PresentMoment your response was a godsend. You sound like an awesome person and an even more amazing Mother. Thank you for the love and support

We are all amazing women - we need to all realize this!! Love you girls! I am here for you - just me know if you need help!!

@presentmoment “ Allow yourself to grieve a bit, but don't wallow in it. Be hurt, be angry, you deserve that - then face it like you have tackled other obstacles in you life. It will get better, it just takes time!!”

I needed that too. Thank you

I pray I can make it to that point. My first test was two years ago. I still had hope of being negative but my last test in November was positive. I still can't eat or sleep. I am slowing dying and I need to live for my two young boys. I really have to try to get a grip on life. I went to my dr Friday and she recommended I get professional help. Reading some of you all stories are really helping me. I just pray I can live through this.

I'm doing great! I don't even think about my H. I have only had my first primary OB and one case of prodrome symptoms that were uncomfortable. I have not had sex since my diagnosis. I have actually gotten involved in a a fellowship group (not related to H.) I am now on a committee for a conference we are having in August. Going to church. Working out! I am in good shape anyway but getting even better. Feeling hot! I have been flirting with a guy in the fellowship- very fun - we'll see what happens with that!!???