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In this Discussion

positive guide to herpes disclosure






 

 

Disclosed to guy I was dating

Hello, looking for some support/kind words. Ex husband cheated, I had blood work done last year and test results revealed that I was HSV-2 positive. I dated a guy for almost a year and he was ok with my diagnosis. We broke up for other reasons. Started dating a new guy about 6 weeks ago. Talked almost everyday, great chemistry. We had 4 dates or so I decided to disclose my very private information. He is a doctor so I already anticipated him to do extensive research after I told him. I explained everything from having testing done after confirming the affair that my husband had to my diagnosis and that I’m on suppressive therapy. I told him the guy I dated before him never contracted anything the whole time we were together. He told me he is ok with it, did not really know a lot about HSV-2 and will have to do some research, He still wanted to make out and have sex after I told him everything. We went upstairs and had a bit of awkward sex. He was clearly uncomfortable. We left and had dinner then he got quiet. We spoke on the phone the next evening and he proceeded to tell me in his detached doctor voice, “It’s a shame we didn’t meet 20 years ago” (whatever that means) He complimented me on my intelligence, beauty, etc. Told me to give him some time. I agreed but could tell by the sound of his voice he has already made up his mind and was bothered by my diagnosis. I later sent him a text that he didn’t have to keep seeing me if he wasn’t comfortable anymore and I’d rather not drag it out. He told me he cared for me that this was just giving him pause. Then he proceeded to tell me that he’s a bad lay and I am better off in the long run. So, that was my answer. I was rejected. I was crushed and felt Moore vulnerable than I have ever felt. I don’t under stand why he would sleep with me if he wasn’t truly ok with it only to reject me the next day after doing research. Not sure what the whole “It’s a shame we didn’t meet 20 years ago” line was for. We are both busy and have 4 kids so I’m sure that played into it all. Now I almost feel I should disclose on the first date but I don’t want to tell a complete stranger something so personal. I want the person to know me first and give me a chance before learning of my diagnosis.

Comments

  • Sorry that happened to you!! I’ve known about my H2 just 4 months and in no hurry to date for this very reason. Plus the guy I was seeing when I found out ran for the hills never to be seen again. I would stop contacting him and give him time to process. Busy yourself with other things and try not to dwell on it. I know it hurts..I’ve been there!! I do question why he would even have sex then act funny afterwards. His little 20 years ago statement doesn’t make much sense either.Keep your head up. Don’t contact him again. If he wants to talk he will contact you.Hang in there!!
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