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Informational Blog
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Need support, 1st time

I went to the dr and she thinks I have herpes. I'm waiting for my test to come back. I contacted my both my partners and they deny having anything. I feel so devastated not knowing how I got this. How did you deal with this emotionally and did any of you experience the same thing as far as partners denying they have anything. I feel heartbroken that someone would like to me about something so serious involving my health

Comments

  • Most people with HSV don't experience any noticeable symptoms. So it is entirely reasonable the partner that gave this to you has no idea they have it. Maybe you could explain to them how HSV works and encourage them to get a test. Even so they may decline testing and choose to live in denial. At which point you've done your part and can walk away knowing you did the right thing. Now that you know you can be a responsible sexual partner to any future lovers.
  • It sucks and only time and work will get you past the ugh. I'm going on 4 months and haven't had a break, I can't kick it, and I still notice I am less worried about it.

    I practiced very safe sex, but like UName said, most don't have symptoms and just don't know. Also, blood tests can be wrong. I tested negative in 2016 and 2017. Didn't test positive blood wise until January 2018. So when I have my first tiny lesion at a doc appt and was told I had herpes in November I'm like how can that be? I've not had sex for over 5 months and I tested negative twice (October and November).

    One lover I contacted and he is negative. The others have tried to reconnect as lovers so I would not think they know they are positive, if they even are. Point is, I don't know where, when or who.

    For some it's not too bad, for others it sucks. So far, I think it sucks! Hope your experience is different. As a lot of folks live with it without much hassle...
  • neg9 - I totally relate to what you are feeling. I have been going through those same emotions. Feeling angry and having a hard time not thinking about that anger 24/7. This evening, while cooking dinner & cleaning the kitchen, I listened to videos on letting go of anger. The video that changed my attitude the most was Thich Nhat Hanh "How can we let go of anger?" I am going to watch it again in the morning and hope the calm I feel now lasts all day.
    Username - Thank you for your post! I needed that! Very true!
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