Worried about when to disclose

Hi. I have HSV1 oral and genital. I’m really worrying at the moment about disclosing. I’m a lesbian and I’ve met someone amazing online. We are connecting in a way I have never experienced before and I don’t want bad timing to be a factor in any possible end to the connection. Because I am away on holiday for two weeks and she has some deadlines to meet we can’t meet in person until the second week in February. We talk on the phone and the emotional intimacy is increasing. Not disclosing is causing me to hold back and/or feel deceitful. I’m intending to disclose when her deadlines are met this Monday which is before my holiday and two weeks before we are due to meet in person. I don’t want to present her with my H until she has her deadlines out of the way. So I’m worried she might be upset by the fact that I didn’t tell her sooner and also she might be upset because I haven’t waited until we meet. I hate this dilemma as it feels timing it is just another worry on top of the whole wondering what her reaction will be.

If this isn’t too confusing, I would really appreciate people’s thoughts!

I once heard Adrial say, when asked when is the right time to disclose, to ask yourself, “Do I trust this person with my vulnerability?” If you haven’t met this woman yet, I also think it would be totally fair to wait until you meet to see if there’s chemistry in person. I know you want to be considerate to her with your timing. Just don’t let that affect what would otherwise be the right timing for *you*.

Thank you HikinGirl. I bit the bullet and did it yesterday having been prompted by something that came up in conversation. It went very well and she was surprised that I thought it would end our connection. So!..... suffice to say I’m thrilled and feel very blessed and I’m thanking you all for contributing to the presence of this website. I think even putting my post on prepared me and helped me feel more confident. So its true, we can move forward and there are some great people out there

That’s so awesome to hear! Thanks for sharing the good news with us! :)