Did Not Disclose, One Night Stand Unprotected

Let me just say I feel horrible and terrible and this has caused me anxiety all around.

I was diagnosed with herpes back in 2016. Since 2016 to Mar/Apr 17 I had only 3 outbreaks. I started to have a outbreak (HSV2) 2 days before Christmas. The blister ran their course and eventually dried out and scabbed. The scab fell off and turned to all white marks, smooth skin. Like Scar tissue. No open marks as could tell.

I did not have any intercourse or did anything until this past weekend. 21 days after my inital outbreak started to come in. I ended up seeing a lady at bar that I see regularly there and we flirted for a little bit and I just happen to leave. Long story short, I am on my home and see calls me and go back to the bar and we have sex in the car unprotected. We both were drinking and and one thing led to another. She did not ask me her status and vice versa. It did not last long, but only a few minutes (not that means anything).

The following few days, I have feeling bad about the whole thing. Guilt and a lot of what if questions/scenarios.

I knew I should of just went home and went to bed, but it didn't happen and I have myself to blame.

We have a lot of mutual friends and I do not know what to do... Do I tell her I have HSV2 or do I just let it play out and see if anything happens. I do not want a relationship with this person.

My other question is it okay to have sex with healed skin (white scar marks)? I am really stressing myself over this and do not know what to do.

You are contagious right before lesions appear, during, and immediately after lesions heal. If your skin had the white marks, your skin is not completely healed. My understanding is that herpes sores do not leave marks, so my assumption is that you were still contagious at the time you had unprotected sex.

Ok so it happened and it is out of your control as far as transmission goes; however, you are not entirely powerless as you have options moving forward.

It is possible you did not transmit, so it would be ok to wait it out for now. You can send her the anonymous notification later if you wish.

You can also tell her but I understand how the mutual friends situation can make things awkward. I would say wait it out for now.

Thanks for your response.

I have had the scar tissue for over two weeks now and they don't seem to be fading at all. Is an outbreak really going to last that long until the skin heals?