I am currently abroad in a foreign country and while I have been here for the last six weeks I have been having a casual relationship with a local guy. Since sleeping with him I have developed what appears to be a classic case of genital herpes (I have all of the symptoms). Access to sexual health checks is not easy here and therefore I haven’t been able to get a diagnosis but I have spoke to a close family friend who is a nurse practitioner and she advised me to start the Aciclovir treatment which I have. I now don’t know whether to speak to the guy about it and find out if he has it but I am scared of the answer in case he knew he had it and did not tell me! I am also worried about his reaction in case he thinks I am dirty or he gets angry with me. It would be a difficult conversation to have given that I don’t know him well enough to know how he will react but also a language barrier and a lack of education in this country about sexual health. He still wants to see me while I am here but I keep making excuses to avoid him so that I do not end up in a situation where he wants to have sex.
I feel like I have ruined my life and I don’t see me ever having the future I thought I would have. I dont think I will be the same person again and I cannot see how anyone will ever want to be with me sexually again.
I am due to return home soon however only for one week before leaving to travel Asia for a year. I am now questioning whether I should actually go or not as I don’t feel I will aenjoy it the way I would have done before. The trip is going to be party central and I am worried about further outbreaks especially with the alcohol consumption and also how to deal with encounters with men which right now terrifies me! I also don’t want to ruin this trip for my best friend!
I am in so much pain and I feel so down and alone and I don’t have anyone else to speak to about this.