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..Why people don't reject ...


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Honestly we all know deep down hsv it's not a medical problem more of a social problem, I personally feel if you meet the right person that's confident and feel good about themselves they won't reject you

 

You'll end up finding more attractive good looking people that's confident and will not care about hsv at all , because they can handle it and don't sweat the small stuff

I feel like it's the people whom are not that confident in themselves or just have other "noreason" reasons they reject someone..

 

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I've disclosed to many people because I tend to disclose very early, often before even meeting and knowing whether a sexual or romantic relationship will develop. I really haven't noticed much of a pattern at all in who will and will not be okay with it. I guess the closest I've seen to a pattern is that people who generally are very anxious may be anxious about this as well. I've encountered that a couple times where their anxiety was greater than is typical, both related to HSV and life in general. And both of these people were fine having many casual partners, as long as they didn't know their HSV status. It was known risk that provoked anxiety, not risk itself. But obviously that's a small sample size.

 

Those who have not had an issue with it have expressed a variety of reasons for that. One had a good grasp of relative risk in the dating pool and felt safer with someone aware of her status and taking precautions, one was attracted to my honesty in disclosing and that outweighed concerns about HSV, one thought the risk was small enough to not worry about, one had a history of cold sores so understood how HSV works and did not buy into the stigma that says genital herpes is scary while oral herpes is nbd, one said it would never be a factor for him in relationship choices, one had a primary partner (open relationship) who also had it, a couple knew they had it themselves, one thought it was ridiculous to consider this a deal breaker because it is so prevalent.

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I havent diclosed to anyone yet...30 years old and just found out i had H2 + two months ago, blood test say i was a carrier for a while but never had an outbreak till then...a flu, a hung over and 2 days of intense separfishing at 60 feet deep dives welcome my fist outbreak.

 

Herpes never crossed my mind as a risk, i was totaly unaware of the virus and how it works, no doctor ever suggested to get tested and school doesnt teach it ... My body feels fine now and i have sexual desire again, but that desire goes a little deeper than before now, i guess im a hopless fool LOL. Havent seen anyone yet, it has slowly sunken in my soul and brain the condition im in right now, and has made me think of how shallow i was, i treated sex as a sport for a long time besides the few women i really loved, i was good at doing it, i felt good about myself after i did at least for a day or two. The only thing i would disclose to woman was my intention to just have sex and not get emotionally attached...then proceed to fornicate. Deep down i wanted to find the girl of my dreams, selfishly, the one that share the same dreams as i, but my lack of patience and boosted ego would have me trying partners like a bee try different flowers...searching for that one. I come to realize i was as unhappy before i knew about my condition as i am now...i was living one big lie, fueled by ego, hedonism, and fear of loving a person for what they were...but no more, i refuse to live in fear and denial. Its hard to have a secret and pretend to be the same in social situations, now im speechless in man conversations about girls and how we handle them like cattle, living in my macho town these conversations are common...yes, i am a knuckle head and learned the hard way, slap on the wrist from the universe for being a fuck boy. i havent disclose to anyone yet, i think i just going to be me and do what i like, love me, love my virtues and try to make amends with my character flaws and eventually...i will have to disclose to someone...i cant wait till that happens, looking forward to it regardless of the outcome...feel like a lot of things clicked in my brain that never clicked before because they where blocked by my ego and i was to "mighty and undestructible", yet i was already destroying myself, hopefully after my first disclosure allot of new things will click in my brain and finally become the man im suppose to be.

 

Thanks to all the wise people in this group that kept my chin up and not kill myself, making me realize im only human and i make mistakes.

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