I have been reading through all of your posts and find everything to be rather helpful, so I would like to share my story as to shed some background on my question.
I have been with a lovely woman whom I met 8 months ago. I have never met a woman who cares about me like her, completely and unconditionally. She confessed to me that she had oral herpes 4 months into our relationship. She had only kept this from me because she didn't see oral herpes as such a big deal, until I had mentioned it in a conversation to her that same evening. She had told me she thought she got it from her host family that she baby sits, as the children, and both parents, have this. Since then I have had the upmost trouble becoming close with her, and developing the feelings I know I want to have for her. Kissing her has become an issue for me, mentally I do not show my discomfort physically or share it with her. I know my issue is only this. She has had one outbreak since I have been with her and we both abstained from kissing until the sore was completely healed. She is also on preventive medication which reduces her percentage of shedding.
My question is this: I see myself spending many years with this woman, and I know that. But I am having trouble continuing and developing emotionally because of the herpes that she has, which is always on my mind. Do any of you, or do any of you know of anyone, who has, or is in, a long term relationship, or marriage, where one spouse has oral herpes, and has not transmitted to the other?
I am not a shallow person, I educated myself well on herpes, and that has not changed my opinion of her in anyway. But it is complicating me on an emotional level.
Please share your stories, I would like to know. I cannot find any examples of my question on the internet and the community here seem very supportive, mature, and informative.