I don't think I can possibly get lower than I am now. Over the past three months, my boyfriend of two years left me, the man I thought I was going to marry and I contracted genital herpes from a man I randomly hooked up with to try to regain confidence. Unfortunately I have seemed to also auto inoculated myself with oral herpes. My genital herpes stated 3 weeks ago and will not heal and has gone from one sore than continues to scab up and reopen to three. About a week after that I got a cold sore on the corner of my lip that is so painful I can hardly eat. Now I feel a tingling on the other end of my mouth. Both oral and genitals hurt so bad at the same time and I want to die. I hate my life. I don't see any reason to go on. I will never be loved again and I feel like my entire body is subject to pain for my entire life. All I wanted was to be married with kids and that will never happen. I am worried I will kill myself. Currently I am drinking from the time I wake up til the time I sleep. I don't know what to do. I am so scared. I live alone and haven't been able to clean and it looks like a hoarder house. I don't know what to do. I just took a bunch of sleeping pills and am drinking. I just want to end this.