4 disclosures...all positive responses!

So I want to just start this post by saying that my main emotional distress with being HSV positive has been surrounded by the aspect of disclosing. The fear of someone calling me disgusting or a whore or making judgments about me has been absolutely terrifying. For me I decided that it would be easier to start my journey of disclosure by telling two guys that were actively trying to sleep with me but I had been intimate with before. Again to reiterate these were men who were trying to sleep with me currently and that I had had sex with before. I have in the last day disclosed to two more men, neither of which I have been intimate with (or even met in person)

Guy 1: he is a doctor so I thought that maybe he would have a better grasp as to how common HSV is and be more rational about it. When I told him I’ve been exposed to it his only response was OK. He has since asked me if I have any stores or lesions which I told him no because I don’t have any outbreaks. We haven’t been intimate but the HSV is not an issue for him

Guy 2: This is a guy I’ve known for quite a few years and we’ve only been intimate a handful of times or less. I actually hadn’t even seen him in the last 2 1/2 years until this last week. He was literally in the process of trying to come over to sleep with me when I told him that there was something I needed to tell him and it was that I have HSV. He asked for more information and it turns out he has type one. He was and still is a little anxious about the situation but has been incredibly respectful about it and has wanted me to give him a lot of information. Long-term I don’t know if anything sexual happened because he might be too anxious and I don’t wanna put myself in that situation but over and over again he has told me how much he respects my honesty and commends me for disclosing because he can only imagine how difficult and scary it must be .

Guy 3: OK so guy three is the first guy I have told who i have not previously had sex with. I decided I wanted to do a bit of an experiment with disclosing to people that I hadn’t even yet met in person. He didn’t even know what HSV stood for but has since asked a lot of questions and told me he appreciates my honesty. The disclosure was all through the dating app for reference and he asked for my number and I actually just got off the phone with him. He wanted to continue communicating and has said he still wants to meet in person

Guy 4: Another dating app guy that I got the feeling wanted to potentially have something sexual with me. We have already exchanged numbers and I decided that I didn’t even really want to meet him in person if he didn’t already know about my HSV status. So I told him and he said that he respected me for telling him that and that I’m a really good person. I left it with if you have any questions I’m happy to answer them and I haven’t heard back from him since. I have a feeling this is a dealbreaker for him. Some people may look at this as a rejection, but because of his respectful response I don’t take it that way. He chose to be nice about it when he could have ghosted or been disrespectful.

So I know these are only four disclosures and two of them are to people I’ve been intimate with before. But these disclosures really have given me hope. They give me hope that in the end people really do respect honesty. Even if moving forward with something romantic or sexual isn’t what they were interested in, I am hopeful many people will respect me as a person for choosing to be honest with them before becoming sexual. It really would be easier for me to not disclose and just take the necessary precautions and sleep with these people. But I have decided that I would rather keep my personal integrity and risk rejection. It feels great to have been respected and commended for choosing this path. I don’t expect every person to be as kind as these individuals but as I said before it has given me hope for the future

Thanks for sharing. I’m fairly new and hadn’t told anyone yet IRL. I have the same fears you had so this gave me a little hope. Thanks again!