Lost

Hey everyone,

My results for my swab test came back yesterday and they were positive for HSV 2 and although I didn’t get swabbed in my mouth the results came back saying it was a double infection. So i guess that means I have HSV 1&2. Lucky me! My mind has been racing since I first had the swab test done. I can’t decide whether to be mad or to hate myself for not being more careful. I really wish I knew when or who pass it to me. I recently started sleeping with this new guy about two months now maybe a little less. And a part of me thinks maybe he passed it to me since I noticed the first signs of my initial OB two days after the last time we had sex.

But the nurses said I could’ve had it before and that maybe my stress finally brought it out. I have to find a way to tell him and I’m pretty nervous about this. I’m afraid of what he’ll say and the other part wants me to question him and/or just end things between us. Any suggestions on how I should go about telling him?

I have a few other questions about all of this as well. . . 1.) Is anyone else taking Valacyclovir 1g ? And does it make your head feel like clouded or foggy? 2.) My OB started a few days before my period and I’m almost off now. But is there any tips on making myself for my comfortable or clean while both are going on? Btw I have to use pads since the pain was too much I couldn’t imagine trying to put a tampon in. 3.) how will I know everything is back to normal down there? I feel a lot better already but still. 4.) what are the first signs of an oral OB? I’ve never had cold sores before. 5.) when does it get better?

First, talk to the guy and ask the questions you need answered from him. Given the timing, it is possible he may have passed it, but it is also possible you carried the virus without symptoms for a while.

1. Valacyclovir increased my blood pressure a lot if I took it without eating a meal first. Try taking with food, and see if that helps.

2. Can't help ya. Sorry.

3. I waited about 2 months before I started to feel confident that my first outbreak was over, and my immune system had a chance to get up to speed. Personal thing, not based on much science.

4. Not sure, I assume very similar to genital.

5. Healing is different for each person. Some people never hear from herpes again, some people have many follow up out breaks.

When I found out, I had been with my current girlfriend for a couple of months. I told her right away as symptoms developed, and test results came back. I told her I understood if she was thinking about leaving me, and we talked about it plenty.

Then her blood test results came back positive, and I had a billion tough questions to throw at her

She legitimately never knew she had herpes, and thought she had been tested. Unfortunately, there is a large percentage of people who have it and don't know it.

Keep looking forward to the future. Remember this doesn't change who you are!

Thanks for the response! I finally told him last night it went better than i thought it would. but I really want to sit down and have a more in depth talk about it and ask him more questions. I told him he can run away if he wanted to I would completely understand. He was tested recently for std but I’m sure he wasn’t tested for herpes. He said he’ll get tested at his next doc visit but I wish he would go ASAP. I’ll be really happy if his came back negative I just don’t want to be the one to have passed it to him. But I guess the shitty part about this virus you never really know when or who passed it .

I’ve seen some of you post and I’m impressed you blog about it almost daily and take notice to any change if you have any. Keep it up! It’s always good to see another persons perspective on things :)

Your story is similar to mine !!

I can tell you from my experience that whether he tests positive or negative, you will have a million questions anyway. It's not easy to keep a relationship on a "rainbows and roses" status when you are dealing with finding out about this stuff.

The conversations I had with my girlfriend were not easy, but they turned out to be really positive and have really strengthened our relationship. There are a lot of opportunities in your situation to witness the other person's (and equally important, your own) capacity for empathy, compassion, and resolve.

It's really good to know that your breaking the news went well. You certainly are reasonable in wanting him to get tested right away, as the knowledge will dictate a lot about how you handle getting physical.

Remember that you are still your awesome self, and try to communicate about what you are struggling with in a way that doesn't burn bridges. I had a really hard time communicating when I was feeling ashamed about sex, I've gotten better about it, but it did lead to some turn downs and some bruised ego on a few occasions. It's hard to say, "I'm sorry, but I don't want to. I'm feeling bad about my situation, and it's not your fault." But it is necessary.

Also, remember that it is possible to feel like you owe something to the first person who accepts you with knowledge of your diagnosis. If things turn out to not work with this person, try not to feel trapped by that. It takes a lot of introspection to maintain a relationship at a time like this, pay attention to your thoughts and feelings.

That’s definitely another thing I’m worried about the whole sex thing. I definitely feel ashamed about my diagnosis like I loved showers before this it was like my go to. I feel sad or had a bad day I’ll take a long hot shower. And no I can’t even enjoy it. I just feel dirty I can’t even wash myself without worrying about spreading it . I can’t imagine trying to have sex anytime soon.

I think he’ll be understanding about all of this but I know he’s also very sexual . So I’m a little worried he’ll turn to someone else or put more strain on this situation. But I guess that’s another way to find out if this is really something to try to hang on to.

Thanks again for the advice . It’s nice to talk to other people in the same situation. I told a few of my family members and a close friend. But I’m scared if I keep talking about it with them they’ll get annoyed or something.

@Tart, by all means, enjoy that shower! The risk of spreading the virus really only exists when the virus is new to your body and you’re still building antibodies. If it happens, it’s almost always during a first outbreak when a person doesn’t realize they’re touching HSV lesions. Maybe within the first few months...maybe. Either way, soap kills the virus. It’s always a good idea to wash your hands after touching an active outbreak or that general area when the virus is new. Otherwise, enjoy those hot showers!!! :)

@HikingGirl thanks!! I’ll keep that in mind :)