Garlic, coconut oil and celibacy!

I haven't written on here since I first found out I had herpes and I just re read what I put 4 months ago and it actually makes me feel much better that I am no longer in that dark place anymore. I wouldn't say I am 100% but I am defiantly better than when I found out I got herpes.

I am writing this today so that this post can help someone like many of the posts I have read giving information and advice. The main thing I always saw when I was reading was people saying it will get better in time and I used to think 1. They clearly never had this as bad I'm feeling and 2. I don't want to be reading it gets better when I feel like my whole world has crashed! Well guys.... it will get better in time but I am not going to lie you will have the anger, the tears and most probably the suicidal thoughts. One night, only a couple of weeks ago I spent about 3 hours crying at my dressing table thinking I could just get into my car and drive into a wall. I had an outbreak for over 4 weeks. Next morning I woke up and was like what am I playing at this is not me so I got myself to the clinic and I am now on suppressive therapy until mid January so we will see how that works out seeing as I have tried nearly everything suggested on google!!!

I am 22 and love going out drinking, eating mc d and as it is now December I have not set foot in a gym for a while, I by no means have the healthiest lifestyle which apparently doesn't help herpes but even though I have outbreaks they are not painful like my first outbreak so I still live my life regardless! Here is what I have tried out and how it worked for me:

Talking it through: Only handful of people know I have herpes; my 6 bestfriends, my mum and my cousin but each one of those people have really helped me and I am so grateful to have people like them in my life and they are probably sick of me forever talking about my noonie but they have been nothing but patient, loving and supportive and I couldn't thank them enough. You don't have to tell the world you have herpes but having people to talk to it about has really helped me.

Tea tree - Loved it as it completely dries out the sores. Great if you have sores sort of on the area you would get waxed but not for around the hole area or inside. Very painful to apply even watered down!! It also dries out the skin and then this can cause more irritation. I now wash with epiderm cream as it cleans the area but also moisturises feel like its made a real difference.

Coconut oil - I have sores inside so I applied this and it has definatly made the redness and a few sores gone. I have been using this every night for a week or so now so I don't know the long term effects but with the results I've already seen I will definitely be carrying it on!

Vitamins - So when I first got diagnosed I went out and bought every vitamin that apparently helps with herpes but then they made me feel sick all day so I stopped then when I got this new outbreak I started reading more stuff about your immune system being effected so I thought I'll take the ones to help that so now I take daily (ish) 2000mg of Vitamin C, 600mg of Reshi Mushroom and L-Lystine. Now I have been taking all of these for about a month and even though I don't know if they are helping the herpes but its mid December and I haven't caught that horrible cold everyone else has so they must be helping my immune system which in the long run is good for not getting an outbreak.

Garlic - Now I as I am writing this I have a piece of garlic in between my bum cheeks pressing onto my sores as this is now the only place I have left with sores (that may have been a bit too much info but hey ho!) It burned like a MF when I first pressed it but after about 5 mins it has subsided. This is meant to dry out and heal up the sores which I have had around my bum for nearly a month and half. I am only trying this because I have not had sex in forever... Desperate times really!

This brings me to my final point... herpes has forced me to be celibacy waaaah! Now I was never a hoe who wanted to go out and bang everyone but now that I don't have a choice in the matter I seem to want it so so so sooooo much more so let's hope this bloody garlic works people because I refuse to have sex with anyone at any chance of having a open sore however small it is. The boy that may not or may have given this to me happily had unprotected sex with me after I told him I had it... so he may already have it... either way its his choice if he gets it but I just do not think his adult enough that if he does get it he will be careful because I would feel terrible if I gave it to him and then he went off with another girl and she caught it because it was the worst thing that happened to me but I am now dealing and coping as well as I can with it.

I really hope this reaches out to at least one person and helps them out. Just remember if you are ever in a really bad place talk to your friends, mum (if you choose to tell her) or a doctor because just airing it out can help and doctors can give you more medicine to help. On a final note I know that right now it feels really horrendous but push through it and be as strong as you can and don't let herpes own you. You can get through this! :)

Thank you for sharing this. I am now in that dark place full of despair. I was diagnosed today, although the doctor had no idea if it's HSV-1 or HSV-2. I won't see her and be able to ask questions for another week an a half.

I was misdiagnosed nearly two weeks ago and spent more than a week off work, exiled to my home, seeing no one at all except for two doctors and the pharmacist.

Being in isolation (with a misdiagnosis while waiting WAY too long for test results to come back) probably has made my feelings of despair even worse. The crying jags. Feeling like the man I've been seeing for two months (who I suspect gave me this without having any idea he has it) will no longer want me. Convincing myself I'll be alone forever. It's all a lot to deal with.

@TeaWithTheQueen I fully understand you it is the worst and the fact that you are going through it alone is making it 100 x harder! Pick up the phone give a friend a call let them know whats going on and you just need someone to just be there.

I was the same I had to wait a couple of weeks but have they given you tablets? They will help so much. If you are still in pain down below sleep with an ice pack to relieve it a little.

Regarding the man, I get it I felt the same but when I told him he was pretty cool with it but we were more like friends who had just been banging each other for a year. If he did give it to you and doesn't want you after... I'm not going to lie to you the rejection is going to hurt like hell but you will over come it and realise that he was not worth it in the end.

I do feel like will I ever find someone who can love me with this but at this moment it should be about focusing on you and getting better. Worry about boys once you feel more together with life and all cleared up.

You are not suffering alone (even though right now you feel like it is only you in the world who has it) so many others have it and also so many others could have it much worst that you have! Wipe those tears hunny. I promise you it won't happen over night or not even a month but it is going to get better. Keep positive and look after yourself xxxx

Thank you so much, @mw7544. I appreciate your response.

I truly have no one that I feel like I can confide in and know that it will be kept 100% confidential.

@TeaWithTheQueen Well chat it out on here don't feel like you are alone!