HSV 1 Positive

Hi all-

I had a full STD check and came back positive for HSV1. I did the test just for peace of mind, I was not having any symptoms (that i noticed?), I was with someone for about a year and a half and i cheated (in Sept) and finally told him about it on friday. I ordered this online and went to talk to my OBGYN today. The last test I had did not test for HSV. My OBGYN just told me that everyone has it and that its not that big of a deal. I am very concern and dont know what I am going to do or how I go on with my sexual life. I also have no idea how or what to tell both men? Did I give this to them? How do I know if I have no idea how I got it?

Looking for help/education and encouragement.

Hi, @aname, and welcome. As it turns out, HSV1 is extremely common. In fact, the majority of adults have it, many of them picking it up as kids. Only about a third of those with oral HSV1 ever have a cold sore. Here’s how common both HSV1 and HSV2 are: http://projectaccept.org/who-gets-hsv/

While HSV1 much prefers the mouth to the genitals, it is possible to have it in either place. If you’re not having outbreaks in either location, then there’s no way to know if you have it orally or genitally. I’m in the same boat (although I also have HSV2), not knowing where my HSV1 is. I just tell myself that statistically speaking, it’s most likely that I have it orally. Initially this was maddening to me, not to know for sure, but knowing how prevalent it is now, it seems like not such a big deal.

Going forward, it’s a good idea to learn more about HSV and how it’s transmitted. There’s lots of great information here on H Opp, as well as a short handbook written by a herpes expert located here: https://westoverheights.com/herpes/the-updated-herpes-handbook/

I have more maddening news....there’s no way to know who you got it from, or—if either of your partners test positive—if they even got it from you. They’d have to get tested to know if they had it, but chances are they very well may have had it all along. Transmission is also not a given. My ex-husband of 15 years never got either strain from me (I didn’t know I had either until after our divorce).

Curiously, oral HSV1 is rarely ever disclosed. Probably because (a) tons of people don’t even know they have it, (b) cold sores aren’t stigmatized like genital herpes is, ,and © they don’t realize it can be transmitted to the genitals via oral sex even when no cold sore is present. Personally speaking, if I were in your shoes, I would just focus on learning more right now so that you could even answer questions. If you’re still seeing the first guy, then just tell him what you told us....you didn’t realize you hadn’t been tested for it before, and are now learning it could be transmitted to either the mouth or the genitals.

For your sanity, try to focus on the fact that the vast majority of adults already have it. I promise you’ll be okay and your sex life will not end because of this! :)

Thank you for that information. I told both of them today. Just said that I tested HSV 1 positive and that it was most likely due to cold sores. Told them they should get tested, but I dont know if they will. Especially guy #1 i said everything else was negative, but HSV 1. I dont know if he didnt think it was a big deal or didnt understand what this is.. Because he said "im glad everything is ok". I now feel terrible and dont know if I should respond and freak him out?!

@HikingGirl Ive been seeing your comments and posts and I just have to let you know that their very informative and encouraging! you always have alot of sites to visit that have been extremely helpful. Im new here too and have been going on about a week now with this.

Thank you, @Mom29_818, I’m glad you’ve found them helpful. This is such a great community with a wealth of shared knowledge and experiences!