I've been a member here for awhile, lurking around in the shadows. But I am proud to have found this community, as it has helped me re-frame my perspective on what it means to live with HSV2.
When I was first diagnosed, I just knew my life was over. As an over 40 black female with HSV2, i figured i should just throw in the towel. Dating as a 40+ black female is hard enough, but then add cooties on top of that....forget about it.
But then a funny thing happened. I met someone. He seemed awesome, and checked all the boxes of what I'm looking for. We went on about 4 dates and everything was perfect. But then oh wait, I remembered that i'm one of the "infected" and he would never want me. I came back to the forums for support, plus i read all of Adrial's guidance on changing my perspective. Then I literally wrote out my disclosure talk and practiced it. This was my opportunity (see what I did, there? lol) to start this potential relationship in the spirit of open communication, honesty and vulnerability. If he decided not to proceed, then he was rejecting the herpes, not me. and that's his choice.
I finally got the nerve to disclose, and it went better than I thought. He said he appreciated my honesty and that he'd call me in a few days. i figured oh well, i'll never hear from him again. he did call me a few days later, and we had small talk. while i was waiting for the shoe to drop, he says "so when will i see you again?". i said, well, what do you mean? I assumed after our talk you wouldnt want to see me anymore. he said what are you talking about? of course i want to see you again!
I am besides myself! He is willing to take a chance on us, and I am so happy. We've gotten much closer because of this, and we're trying to make it work. I dont know what the future will hold, but i'm excited to find out!