Shocked

This is by far the most shocked I have ever been.

I feel like damaged goods, I feel dirty as fuck !!!

I'm still trying to figure out how this happened.

Last yrI go to the Dr because of nagging irritation, my Dr

Wasn't avail so I see the NP. When she mentioned

hsv 2 I felt like she had to be mistaken. I take care of

Myself get tested not careless when having sex partners

I mean c'mon what the fuck??!!! So I say run a blood

Test as this is happening I'm calling my BF for the last

3 yrs to inform him of what was just explained to me.

We cried together . He was like I fucking love you

No matter what !!! Fast forward couple weeks I get

The call my IgG is negative !!! Relief is what I felt !!!

Fast forward this year same problem irritation !!!

Go back, my Dr was out for the week I see another

NP and we talk she examines me does a pcr culture

I tell her I'm confident it isn't hsv 2 !!! Pcr come back

Positive ......my world spins I tell her let's do blood tes

Because I've never had any of the symptoms ever other

Than this irritation and small bump ... 1 bump!!! I go and

Get my blood drawn and now it shows I'm positive for hsv 2

I feel like my dreams of having the family with the man I'm

Madly in love with is over and the intense beautiful sex

Life we had had come to an end !!!! He's getting teste d

After this holiday is over!!! Is it possible that he was a scarier

And passed it on to me? Is it possible that before meeting him

I fucked up and slept with an negligent individual and passed it

To him? Trying to remain cool but on the inside I'm spazzing !!

Would it even matter if I take that antiviral ? Does the antiviral

Even make a difference?

FML

A few things I want to address, but first and foremost you are not dirty or damaged goods. You simply had sex and was exposed to a very common virus that people contract all the time both on their genitals and on their faces. Are people who kiss dirty? Are little kids who are kissed by their grandparents and from that point on have HSV-1 dirty? No. You have to try and think of it from the same perspective. It takes time though and that is alright.

As for the testing and contracting...you more than likely had recently been exposed the first time your blood was taken which is why you were negative. Apparently it takes awhile for the antibodies to build up and become detectable. It is definitely possible your boyfriend was a carrier and was asymptotic and exposed you...if he is positive. It is equally as likely you got it before him. If you are both positive there is no way for either of you to know who you got it from unless you have both been with a very limited number of partners. If you are positive and he is negative, then you obviously got it before him.

I also want to just note that statistically speaking regardless of who you got it from, they were probably not be negligent. I think something like 90% of people who have been exposed to herpes, were exposed by someone who was unaware of their status. If you are aware you are herpes positive, you are more likely to be taking the necessary precautions like condom use and antivirals to protect your partners. It is the people unaware of their status and not using any protective measures who are most likely to pass the virus. Also...herpes isnt included on standard STD testing. Someone, like myself, who tests VERY regularly may think they are negative for all STI's and never know they are herpes positive and accidentally pass it on.

As for antivirals, that is your choice. If your bf is negative it may be something that eases both of your minds when having sex. If he is positive, there isnt any reason to take them other than to minimize your outbreaks. If your outbreaks are minimal then it its really necessary. Again all depends on your boyfriends results and what you both decide works best for you two.

I wish you the best of luck! The early days are the hardest it does get better and this website definitely helps!