I’m still fucking sad

I got diagnosed with hsv2 in April this year. Sometimes I forget I have it but when I get an OB I go back into depression mode. I have an OB like once a month. When I take my antivirals it’s like I don’t have it but if I slip up I get a sore. It’s just a constant reminder of how disgusting I feel. I was getting one sore around my BH and I’m like ok it sucks but I’m not getting it on my vagina until last night. I have 2 sores on my outter lip close to my inner thigh. I’ve never had anal so I was confused as to why it was only on my BH. But I understand the sores can show up anywhere. I’m really sad and it sucks not being able to tell my friends I have this and to open up. My boyfriend is supportive but he doesn’t have it so he doesn’t know my struggle. I’m also depressed because I’m not sure where I got it. I’ve been with him since Jan and found out I had it in feb/April. Blood tested neg but lesion tested positive. I was with someone in early December but he said he didn’t have it. And my boyfriend has never had an OB. So I think my depression comes from having no idea how I got it and just having it. I blamed my current boyfriend because it just made the most sense. But he swears it wasn’t him. Fml just shoot me in the fucking face. Sorry I’m super emo.

If it helps- most people a lot less outbreaks as time goes by.

So Like the first year will probably be the most. Why did you stop taking the meds?

Also, your perspective on having it will mature over time so keep that in mind.

I stopped taking the meds because I didn’t have insurance so I had to pay the urgent care fees plus the examine every time I wanted the meds. I got my insurance covered away so now it’s all good.

If it makes you feel any better I'm still going through my initial outbreak and the lesions/blisters keep getting worse. I would estimate there are about 20-30 of them total around my genital area. I can't even move without being in severe pain.

I google imaged 'Genital herpes in men' thinking I would see some bad cases but mine surprisingly is worse (lolol.)

Oh and I almost passed out in the shower this morning due to the pain being so severe. I still haven't told anyone yet, I don't think I will until this outbreak has settled down.

Hope that helps haha

Don't worry. You are not alone. I am also trying to adjust to the fact. I believer we can stay strong and positive.

you aren't alone. fortunately I was able to narrow down who I got hsv2 from, and he himself didn't know he had it. My tests also didn't show up positive until an active outbreak, when I thought I was having a yeast infection. The tests beforehand when I was having inexplicable flu symptoms, they were negative for everything.

I was incredibly depressed about my diagnosis for a very long time. A year after diagnosis, when I made an attempt to date again, I was rejected over and over and over by everyone I talked to... there was never a good time to tell anyone.

it's been 4 years since my diagnosis and now I'm exclusive with someone who is OK with it, but it was very difficult for me to tell him. I was so happy that he didn't run away.

I felt ashamed and dirty and I cried and cried but the more I researched.... it really isn't that big of a deal. Since 2013 I've had less than 6 outbreaks, this year I've only had one and it was a few weeks ago.