I’m so fucking sad

I’m just sitting here drinking by myself, crying & being pathetic. Going on day 4 of knowing & I don’t see it getting any easier.

I worked for twelve hours today, the entire time my first sore rubbed against my panties. I folded up toilet paper to try & ease the chaffing & it worked but every time I had to use the bathroom, the toilet paper stuck to my sore & it hurt like hell to tear off. It was all I could think about all day. Looking at people I work with & thinking, “they have no idea this disaster I’m dealing with” & also wondering, “who else here has it?” I’m just so depressed. I hope I’ll be able to come to grips with this sooner than later.

The first outbreak was a nightmare for me too. But apparently the first is the worst, it took a couple months to get used to it, but I spent a lot of it angry, upset, alone. But then I started doing more research, telling a few of my friends who told me they knew others with it too, now I just feel like its unfair mainly. But you do get used to life with it, you adjust.

I'm sorry that it has you feeling so torn up! I have felt a lot of similar things, and I know it is difficult to carry on with that kind of burden. Know that you will get to a point where you will feel like you are a great person, with things to be grateful for again soon!

Try to focus on the future, keep looking for opportunities to help people close to you. Those are the things that pulled me up out of some really dark, morbid places after I found out.

Try to make a plan to do something fun for yourself, whatever it is. Make that plan to do it really soon so you have something to be excited about.

You will start to feel like you are on track with your life soon, and you will realize that you really never lost the ability to be the great person you always have been!

Side note from an ex-Navy sailor who has lived the boozy lifestyle:

Not judging, or trying to preach, but...

Try to avoid alcohol when you're feeling down, it tends to amplify whatever mood you're in. I find it makes it difficult for me to steer my train of thought away from the really dark stuff when I'm depressed.

We're here with you! You're not alone in this. I know how painful it is, it's excruciating but it doesn't last forever, it will ease! Any way you could where looser panties and/or pants for work?

Chances are that this is your worst one and that you won't get many after, which is the case for the vast majority of people that have herpes. Maybe get some Valtrex from your doctor to help take care of it. You're going to be ok.