Diagnosed with type 2 yesterday and freaking out!!

Hey all,

I just got the call from my doc who told me I tested positive for type 1 and type 2 herpes and I really dont know what to do. In being as honest as possible I need to say that I have been in a long term relationship for years and years and had only been with that person sexually in any way in my lifetime and the same goes for her. That was the case until I made a horrible drunken decision and slept with someone else unprotected. I went to the docs around a week later to get tested for everything and those came back with me showing positive for type 1 and 2 and my type 2 score was a 5. Obviously this was not something that was planned and of course the one mistake I make this happens. Thats me feeling sorry for myself when I have no right, so I guess I'll get to the questions I have about this. As I said, I went to the docs a week later at the most and my tests came back positive. Everything I have been reading says that it would take 12-16 WEEKS for the antibodies to build up enough to be detected in the blood test. I don't have any symptoms and never have so I am wondering Is this a false positive? Could the person I slept with 5 days before the test have given it to me so it would show up in a blood test? My doc said that is extremely rare so I dont know what to believe or to do. The only thing I can think is either the test is wrong or that the person ive been in a relationship for a long time with could have given it to me and it has just been laying dormant, if 5-7 days is not enough time for the blood test to show positive. I guess I'm just searching for answers and advice from others that have this, as it looks like I do as well. Anything you can share with me would be greatly appreciated.

Signed,

A really scared and freaked out guy

Hi, @Vinnychase9, and welcome. Did you have an IgG blood test? (I ask because a lot of doctors use an IgM test, which is notoriously inaccurate.) It sounds like it, as I believe only the IgG test gives a numerical index value, but since I’m not 100% positive, I would start by making sure you had the right test. If your test was indeed an IgG with an index value of 5, you are indeed positive.

It can take **up to** 16 weeks for those infected to make enough antibodies to be detected on a blood test. Some people’s bodies make antibodies much faster. About 50% of those infected will test positive on a blood test by three weeks. I don’t know if it’s possible to detect positive on a blood test in less than a week. I’d be pretty skeptical, as your doctor was. Hopefully someone on here will have info. If you can’t find an answer here, I would reach out to Terri Warren, a herpes expert, here: https://www.westoverheights.com/herpes-questions/.

It would also be uncommon to acquire HSV2 from one sexual encounter, but it is possible and there are people on these forums who can attest to that. I always used condoms with the handful of partners I had before I met my ex-husband, and I still got it.

HSV1, which is commonly oral (think cold sores) but can also be genital, is extremely common and the majority of adults have it. Only about a third of those with oral HSV1 ever have a cold sore. I have HSV1, and I’ve never had a cold sore in my life.

Along those same lines, nearly 90% of those with genital HSV2 have no idea they have it because they either have no symptoms, or their symptoms are so mild they’re mistaken for something else. I also have HSV2, and when my ex-husband tested negative for both types after our divorce, I realized I must have picked it up 18-25 years earlier and had absolutely no idea. I thought I was just prone to frequent yeast infections and itching. But all that time I never had any visible sores. So not only is it possible to have HSV without any symptoms, it’s very common to have HSV without any symptoms.

Hey @HikingGirl thank you for welcoming me and for ur response. I've read it multiple times and would really appreciate hearing from u again. I am not sleeping at all because of this news and I really dont know What to do. I feel like I ruined my entire life with a one night encounter that was so trivial its almost laughable. I have young kids still in diapers and I feel like I just ruined their lives too as Well as my spouse. Obviously I haven't slept with my spouse since the incident bc I was waiting for teat results from the full panel I got but now I have no choice but to make everything known and possibly blow up my family which is the only thing I really care aboit in this world. Sorry to unload but I dont have anyone to talk to aboit this.

I am devastated to know that the 5 score on the test means I'm definitely positive. I read another forum that a guy had a score of 8 and then was still actually negative. I wish that was the case but I'm guessing that probably isn't so. I'm going to get another test in a couple weeks which is a month after my initial test. I am a little curious about ur thoughts on the timing. In ur personal opinion how likely would it be that I would show positive after only 7 days? The other person hasnt been tested but is going on Monday. I know it might sound crazy but I'm wondering if I am positive and 7 days after exposure isnt enough time to show positive (my doc said it would be extremely rare) then where the hell did I get it from? My spouse and I have inky been with each other so is there any other way to contract hsv2? Before this incident I had never been intimate in any way with another person so I really am blown away by this and my situation. Please reapond if u can it has already helped me immensely. Thanks again.

Have you confirmed with your doctor that you indeed had an IgG test and not something else?

The IgG is known to be a pretty accurate test (if anything, it has more issues with false *negatives*....which can happen up to 9% of the time with HSV1 and 3% of the time with HSV2). Warren recommends testing with a western blot test (more sensitive, most accurate of the HSV tests out there, but also more expensive and difficult to get) if the index value is below 3.5. In cases where someone’s index value is really low, there have been some false positives (more likely to be the case the lower the number is). My index value for HSV2 was 3.27 (and I’d had the virus by then for about 20 years) and I did the western blot on a Hail Mary and it confirmed that I do indeed have both types.

I’m not a herpes expert by any means, and I can’t even guess what was going on with the person who claimed to have an index value of 8 and later tested negative. I also can’t speculate on the chances of getting it from the one-night stand. I just plain don’t know and I’ve never seen it mentioned in the two years since I was diagnosed. It won’t hurt anything to retest in a month, and it couldn’t hurt to do a western blot if you feel like you need a second confirmation (and I get it....I needed to be 200% sure in order to move forward).

HSV2 is only transmitted through sexual contact. Typically it’s intercourse or other skin-to-skin genital contact (such as “dry humping”). That broadens the scope of transmission as it could include a teenage crush one fooled around with but never had intercourse with, or even sexual assault or abuse, in addition to partners that one had intercourse with.

Do you have access to see a counselor? Perhaps through medical insurance or your employer’s Employee Assistance Program? This whole situation is understandably a major source of stress for you, and it can be really helpful to have a level-headed, non-judgmental person to talk it out with.

From your post: "The only thing I can think is either the test is wrong or that the person ive been in a relationship for a long time with could have given it to me"

I think those are the two most likely scenarios. I have seen Terri Warren answer a similar question before and she did not believe such a result would be possible one week after infection.

My understanding is that false positives are very rare above a result of 4, but not impossible. A more sensitive test for confirmation would be the Western Blot.

And as Hiking Girl mentioned, it can be transmitted through genital-genital region contact that does not include penetration but rather skin to skin friction. So maybe that's a possibility to consider, as well.

@optimist @HikingGirl thank you both for the information. I have another blood test scheduled for the 6th of Nov which is a month after my last test. I also talked to the other person and they are going to be scheduling a test as well. I'm really hoping she comes back negative honestly. It feels so terrible to hold this in to myself until I know for sure if I'm positive and if I got it from the other person or not. Its really eating away at me and I still only sleep a couple hours each night. Did u guys struggle with that at all? I can usually fall asleep but I wake up after a few hours and then go back in and out until our alarm goes off around 6am. I think the worry is making me have a bit of night sweats so I'm not very comfortable which of course only leads to me waking up more. Plus I have anxiety issues in general so this feels like its killing me. I do have a therapist that I went back to the week after this indiscretion happened bc it wasn't planned and I care only about my family which makes this all even worse. I'm still hoping against hope that it was an issue with the test but that seems unlikely after all I have been reading. I have no idea how to go over this with my spouse that a horrible drunken mistake gave me an incurable disease. How will she ever forgive me or want me again? She ansld our family are the most important things in my life and it all will be gone. I need help.

Given the testing history and timing you've described, even if the other person comes back positive (which is very possible because HSV2 is common), it will not mean they gave it to you or that you gave it to them. If they come back negative, it will mean you may have exposed them to HSV2, but odds of infection are low in an individual encounter, even when it's unprotected (condoms reduce but do not eliminate risk), unless you had symptoms at the time that you did not recognize as related to HSV2.

It's normal to be emotionally upset by a diagnosis. Most people feel this way, either due to primary outbreak symptoms, stigma or both. In your case, it's more complicated due to infidelity, though if your only extramarital contact, protected or unprotected, was one week before testing positive at a value of 5 by IgG, I don't think that incident has anything to do with your diagnosis.

Good points, Optimist.

@HikingGirl @optimist @hippyherpy Thank you for the information it has helped calm me down a bit. I just went and got my 2nd test completed and the reaults came back. I went down in score to a 4 but they didnt really explain to me what that means if anything. My primary care doc said he wanted me to wait longer (why I dont know) but I wanted to have 2 tests completed before I go to the infectious disease doctor tomorrow. I'm a bit nervous about that visit but I feel that this will at least give me answers to most of the questions I have. I'm still waiting for the results of my friends test to come back, so there is still the possibility of her being negative which would then mean I couldnt have gotten it from her. I'm still trying to figure out how I could have gotten it, before this incident no one other than my spouse has ever even seen me naked let alone had genital to genital contact with me. I just dont get it, but I guess I'm still a bit in denial about this whole thing. You have all been great with the information and with making me not feel judged so I cant thank you enough for the words and the support. Its is greatly appreciated.

How and why are the most difficult things to think about, and I don't think any good comes from dwelling on it.

I understand you are battling a lot of tough stuff, but try to focus on the future as much as you can. Remind yourself that the diagnosis couldn't possibly stop you from being the same person you have always been!

As far as what the test results mean, that would be better answered by someone other than me. I got the swab taken directly from sores during my first outbreak, and that is extremely accurate. I dealt with a ton of depression and really leaned on my girlfriend for support.

The only solid advice I can give is to talk to your spouse about it as openly as possible. I talked to my girlfriend about everything, even told her I knew she was weighing out leaving me, and that it's okay to talk about. It turned out she had herpes for years and didn't know it, and probably passed it to me unwittingly. But we decided to stick together, to support each other with tons of thoughtfulness and empathy. It has made our relationship stronger, despite lots of feelings of inadequacy, shame, and guilt. But talking about it also gave us the opportunity to reassure each other. In that neither of us would be feeling down forever, just needing some temporary sympathy. We talked about plans for the future and what we want in a relationship a lot, too. That kind of communication made it clear that we are on the same page in a lot of ways, and helped ease a lot of guilt and shame for both of us.

Finally, as a dude who has tons of aspiration, and high expectations for myself, let me underline the fact that the diagnosis will in no way stop you from chasing down goals!

Despite ghsv-1, I am performing the same as I always have in and out of work. You can certainly expect to be able to attack goals with the same intensity you always have!

Your family will see it in you if you decide to focus on the future, and keep being the dependable, strong, achieving person you have always been. Herpes can't stop you from being a really great person. It's just a thing to handle, not a definition of who you are.

Also remember this isn't the 1980s when the the stigma kicked in. Tons of people have herpes now and it's a new generation. Thank hook up culture or tinder or whatever.

Here are some bullet points to remember:

- 80% people in the world got herpes

- most of those people don't even get symptoms so they don't know they got it.

- out of the small amount of people who do get symptoms, it's usually very mild or one outbreak

- with condoms and meds you can reduce the chance of passing it to like 1%, the same as dying in a car accident only herpes is not anywhere near that class/level calamity. Yet people get in cars everyday.

- stigma is a joke. It's a marketing campaign cooked up by pharmaceutical companies to sell meds.

- life is short so don't look for excuses to be miserable. If it gives you any confidence, I've disclosed successfully to something like 70 girls. Don't use having herpes as a scapegoat for not getting your life together. Instead, it as an opportunity to get sorted and take everything to the next level. Hence the name herpes "opportunity".

@hippyherpy I could not agree more. It has not set me back at all in my life! I've had this for 36 years to be exact. Never passed it on! There are so many other things that can present way more difficulties/challenges etc. than a skin condition. Just look around, every 5th person is in your shoes

@hippyherpy @katidid @regularity @optimist @HikingGirl So I just went to the infectious disease doc and they told me that I def do have herpes 2. I guess I was hoping that I didnt still but now I know for sure. They told me that it's pretty unlikely that with my scores of 5.2 and 4.6 that I got it recently especially since my forst test was taken 7 days after my incident with my friend. I also just spoke to my friend last night and She got reaults back of an IgM test that were negative for 1 and 2. She is Still waitinf for the IgG test to come back but does that mean ots even more unlikely that I got it from her? I'm at the point where I have all of the information and I'm going to explain it to my wife, but I don't really know what my friends negative test result means. Can anyone explain that to me? I'm still having a really hard time with this all but thinking of it as esse really a skin condition does help. Ive still never had any symptoms amd when I asked the doc if I should be on an antiviral she said no, not until I have some kind of outbreak. What is everyones thoughts on that? Thanks again for all the help, talking with people on here has made this a bit easier.

IgM tests are unreliable, so I wouldn’t put any stock into her IgM results whatsoever. There are two reasons to take an antiviral....reduce or eliminate outbreaks, and reduce transmission. Even though you aren’t having symptoms, there is still value in taking meds to reduce transmission. That’s a personal choice and totally optional. Sadly, it’s common for doctors to be completely ignorant of asymptomayic shedding.

I say don't worry about your friend's herpes test and when they got it because it don't have anything to do with you at this point.

Yes it is a skin condition and you are going to be fine.

Maybe your wife already has it. A lot of people have it but never know because they don't get symptoms and therefore don't get tested for it. When I first got diagnosed I was confused too and was discussing it with people who I'm close with. Turned out that a few then also had it. These are people I knew for years and they never mentioned it.

I'd say get your wife tested. If she's negative then you can either keep on going like you are going or get on meds to help prevent her from getting it. I know married couples that are fine either way. One couple doesn't take meds and they been together several decades and never passsed it on yo the partner. Another couple had the person taking meds and they never passed it.

Hello, I am a laboratory medicine physician (pathologist) and given your history of no symptoms, a high positive result only after a week from a sexual encounter, and having only been with one person previously I can say the following: If you have HSV-2 you did not get it from your previous sexual encounter. You should have your wife tested for HSV-2 to see if she is positive. If she is negative, you should proceed to have a western blot test done. You can have one done right away if your recent sexual encounter was negative, otherwise I would wait 12 to 16 weeks.

Your infectious disease physicians should be aware of the limitations of the ELISA antigen antibody tests and not label you with HSV-2 without symptoms until you have a western blot test. It was true that the ELISA test had a high sensitivity and specificity when it was tested, but whether that holds true now is uncertain. What I mean by that is think of the ELISA test as looking for a Prius (HSV-2). When it first came out, in order to identify the Prius you just had to look for a dual electric and gas engine. This would identify greater than 99% of the Prius and not many other hybrids were represented. Fast forward today; many other hybrids are on the market (i.e. new diseases have emerged). Now just looking for the dual electric and gas engine will still net you greater than 99% of Prius, but given that other hybrids have arrived and increased their market share you will also pick up more non-Prius. In essence, as more diseases arrive on the market ELISA tests tend to become less specific.

Now think of the western blot as looking for a dual electric and gas engine, the toyota logo, and the prius logo. As it is looking for more antigens, it is less prone to false postives.

In addition, simply repeating the same test is not productive. If you were a false positive once, you will likely continue to be a false positive.

Of note, recently there has been a uptick in false positives above 3.5. This may be due to the above mentioned reasons in paragraph 2. I have heard of false positives up to 14 on the Elisa tests and the CDC recommendations for testing people with a confirmation test if you are only below 3.5 may not be as valid when testing people with no symptoms.

Unfortunately, the makers of this test cannot be held liable for false positives, as this test is not a screening test for herpes in low risk asymptomatic individuals or areas of low prevalence due to the very fact it is known to have a high rate of false positives.

Referring back to epidemiology, it doesn't matter how high the sensitivity and specificity of a test is if the prevalence of the disease is low. The positive predicative is the number that matters.

@Jack101 Ok so first off thank u for the information. I want to clarify a couple points if I may. 1, based on my numbers 3 doctors have told me it is likely that I already had hsv2 bc of the fact that 7 days after my incident is when I took the blood test. U are saying that u agree with that? 2, What happens if my friend has her IgG test come back positive, would the forst test still be moot bc of the 7 days? 3, if both are negative I should take the western blot test but what if my wofe is negative and my friend is positive? Is that why I should wait the 12 weeks or so to take the western blot? I'm just trying to understand my next moves here. Thanks again.

1. Based on my numbers, 3 doctors have told me it is likely that I already have HSV-2 b/c of the fact that 7 days after my incident is when I took the blood test. (I agree that if these results are accurate, you did not get HSV-2 from her; however, these results may not be accurate and may represent a false positive. Though the test claims to be type specific, there is cross reactivity with HSV-1 or other possible antigens [what was your HSV-1 result]. It is quoted that numbers above 3.5 are over 90% accurate. However, that has no bearing on individual results. You are either positive or negative. Think of it this way. If i told you that you had a 90% chance of having a sarcoma of the leg and had no symptoms, would you cut off your leg based on chance, or obtain a confirmation test. If a million people have a result over 3.5; 100,000 will be false positives [not a small amount in my opinion]. You have also probably read that HSV-2 can be asymptomatic. While that is true, the test can also be wrong. In addition, a portion of these people that are counted as clinically asymptomatic may actually not have the disease, since a lot of these studies are not solely based on the gold standard of the western blot.

2. What happens if my friend has her IgG test come back positive, would the first test still be moot b/c of the 7 days? (Yes)

3. If both are negative should I take the western blot test (Yes; however, if both are negative and you have only slept or dry humped with two negative people, the only way you would have contracted this disease, would have been from child abuse or from your mother at birth. Of note, if a infant gets HSV-2 at birth there likely would have been major complications and your mother would know this)

4. If my wife is negative and my friend is positive, is that why I should wait the 12-16 weeks or so to take the western blot (You should only take the western blot now, if you can confirm that your friend has not been with anyone for the last 5-6 months and is negative; otherwise, she could have the disease and still not have sero-converted.)

Of note, I recently took an Herpes-select test. It came back positive for HSV-2 at 3.66 and 3.99. My primary care doctor also told me that I was infected. However, this logic made no sense as my only partner was negative. I would like to stress this, you cannot catch HSV-2 or any other disease for that matter, if the disease is not present to be caught (i.e. negative partners, regardless of what any test results demonstrate).

If you have it or don't have of it doesn't really matter much. So common. So not a big deal.

I agree with you hippyherpy that hsv 2 genitally is a very manageable condition for the majority of individuals. However, it is important to know your true status. If he falsely believes he has hsv2 and enters into a relationship with someone wwith hsv2 and doesnt take the proper precuations

He may contract the disease and not be asymptomatic

I am going to tell my wife about my diagnosis tonight or tomorrow and I am having a very hard time wrapping my head around how to go over everything with her. I’m so afraid she’s going to reject me or tell me to leave and I can’t lose her or my kids it will kill me. Everyone is telling m that if I am positive that it has nothing to do with my one night stand but I’m still so nervous as to how to explain this to her. Any suggestions as to how to have this talk? Even if I’ve had it for year it is still a huge deal (even tho I have accepted I may have it and it is essentially a skin condition) I’m incredibly scared of her reaction and the changes that may take place. Any advice as always is greatly appreciated.

I wish I had good advice to offer @Vinnychase9. Just be honest and give her space to react however she’s going to react. As most of us here know from personal experience, our initial reaction to bad news often changes over time once we’ve had a chance to process it. We’ll be sending good vibes your way.

Knowing your herpes status isn't even that important. The government recommends against testing. I say it's a good to know what your status is with herpes anyway, but it's not a big deal. It's not anywhere near as important as something like knowing if you have cancer or not or whether or not you have bad posture etc.

@jack101 @hippyherpy @hikinggirl So I told my wife about my diagnosis and it was almost a non issue. Also my friend was tested for hsv2 and her igg test came back negative. My wife has also been tested and we are waiting in results now. So if my wife is negative and my friend is negative then how the hell did I get this? I’m essentially a miracle of science if both are negative and I’m positive as those are the only people I have been with. It is what it is I guess but I’m still trying to figure out everything it seems.