Monogamous and infected

I’m searching for any story where someone was in a long term monogamous relationship and over five years later is diagnosed with a new hsv1 Genital infection. My partner has no history of cold sores and my swan test was positive and blood test was negative which means it’s a new infection to me. My hubby was a bit promiscuous in his younger years but swears he has never had any symptoms. We’ve been married for 5 years and together for 6.5 years. Is it possible he is just a carrier and we went 6 years without me contracting it?? Is the only way I got it is if he cheated?? I’m very secure in my relationship but I can’t understand how I got this new infection if he’s never shown signs and we’ve been together for this long. Any insight would be so much appreciated. I don’t want to accuse him of something but I’m having a hard time dealing with this and trying to figure it all out.

It’s absolutely possible that he acquired the virus long before meeting you (possibly even in his childhood) and transmission didn’t happen until now. My ex husband of 15 years never got HSV1 or HSV2 from me, and I didn’t know I had either during our marriage! The majority of oral HSV1 carriers have no symptoms. The HSV virus can and dies exit the body periodically with no symptoms. That’s why it’s so easily spread.

I have Genital hsv1 and we haven’t had oral sex in months. Could he carry Genital hsv1 and never have an outbreak or symptoms? I just can’t understand why it’s taken me so long to get it if he’s had it all along

Yes, it’s possible he carries genital HSV1 and has never had an outbreak or symptoms. It’s also possible he may have had really mild symptoms he never recognized as HSV1, or had one primary outbreak, wrote it off as the flu or ingrown hairs or something, and never had another outbreak since.

With genital HSV1, the body doesn’t shed the virus (symptomatically or asymptomatically) nearly as often as genital HSV2 or oral HSV1. (https://herpesopportunity.com/downloads/herpes-opportunity-disclosure-handout.pdf) That in and of itself greatly reduces the chances of transmission to you.

Let’s assume your partner has genital HSV1. With a 3-5% asymptomatic shedding rate, that’s only 1 1/2 days out of the whole month that the virus is even exiting his body and available to infect you. Your body plays a role too. Perhaps you just got waxed and you had micro-tears in the skin and happened to have sex (or genital contact) on the one day he was shedding—you’d be more likely to acquire it. On the flip side, maybe you’ve been exposed in the past, but your immune system was really strong at the time and you didn’t acquire it. These types of factors influence how HSV is spread or not spread. That’s my very basic understanding of it anyway. :)