Disclosure post sexual encounter... and feeling terrible, please help!

I've had a very rough week... I feel horrible, and hope that I can get some advice from people who have been through this before.

I was diagnosed with herpes, HSV1 and 2, about 5 years ago.

My talks in the past haven't gone the best... my long term ex boyfriend was not the best relationship... he was an emotional abuser. And used it against me, telling me I was lucky to have him and that no one else would understand or love me like him.

Most get scared and run away, which I completely understand. But it doesn't exactly help with the confidence of disclosure.

I have been dating this amazing guy for a couple of months. He's been taking it slow, not pressuring sex, but no discussion as come up. When I was ready, I had a couple of drinks to get the courage to disclose and I blacked out... we ended up having sex once with a condom.

I take preventative meds everyday like clock work and we used a condom. But now I'm more worried than ever to tell him. I seriously don't remember us having sex, and now I feel completely irresponsible and terrified to tell him. The chances of him getting it are about 1%, but still.

How do I go about disclosure without him thinking the worst of me? I feel so terrible about this and wish I could just take it back.

Hi there, I am in a very similar situation and I wish I knew what to tell you! First off, you made a mistake it's okay, you're just a human being and it happens. One thing I can say for sure is that alcohol does not help out with this situation at all in my opinion. If I wasn't drunk I would not have done it and I know that. If you plan to continue your relationship with him you really just have to tell him and apologize. If you don't want to keep seeing him it would still be the right thing to do but both of course are up to you.

Hope that helps a little.

Feel free to message me if you want.

-C

People make mistakes. You have to move forward with your life and don't dwell on the past.

The honest thing to do is tell him.

The truth is that if he's had sex more than theee times in his life, he's probably already bumped uglies with someone who has herpes.

Even if he came to you tomorrow and told you he was having outbreak, you still wouldn't be able to tell if you gave it to him or not if he's had more sexual partners in his past. Maybe he already does have herpes. Most people don't know they have it.

Thanks you guys for your responses <3

I told him last week. I had to, it didn't feel right for me to not tell him. And he seemed okay with it.

But then today he called it off, saying he didn't see a future, wants to be friends, all that. I know that it's because of the herpes thing... and I'm just feeling super down about my future relationships.

The most powerful, famous people in the world probably have herpes. This is pretty much guaranteed. If this guy breaks it off over herpes, than he is living in a desperate scarcity mindset that you probably would get annoyed with after a while. Hang out with more confident people who deal with reality instead of fantasy. Herpes isn't a big deal and anyone who thinks it is taking a victim mindset.

Yes, I know there are some here who have bad symptoms and I'm not talking about you. The majority of people don't have any symptoms at all.

Move on to greater things.