Don’t know how to cope.

I was in an abusive relationship for five years and finally got out. When I did meet someone who is amazing and wonderful, I learned a few weeks in that he has Herpes. I’m currently having my first outbreak and I don’t know how to cope. I feel dirty and confused as to why this is happening to me. The outbreak is so painful and I don’t know how to suppress it. I know the stigma that goes along with Herpes, and so I’m afraid to tell anyone. I don’t know how to help with the pain both physically from the outbreak and mentally because I now have an incurable STD. My emotions are overwhelming. Help.

I'm sorry you have to go through the torrent of emotions and pain. I can assure you you are not alone. Your fears, shame, embarrassment, panic, and maybe even a sense of loss of identity are all familiar territory in the herpes positive community. Every one of us is here for mutual support.

I cam tell you from (brief, but still profound) experience that it helps to run down the list of contacts in your phone and pick out the individuals who would never think less of you for contracting a disease. Give yourself permission to lean on those people as much as you need to.

I talked to my Dad right away, and told him the news bluntly. Then I told him I needed to talk about anything unrelated for a while so I can calm down. He handled it really well and we talked about work for an hour or so. It helped a ton.

I hope you have at least 1 person close to you that you can turn to. If not, hopefully the great community we have here can help.

Another big source of relief and peace of mind to me was antiviral medicine. I got an initial prescription through a walk-in clinic, and it started working quickly to help heal me up. That got me in a much more secure state of mind, and even afforded me the ability to think about other things not related to herpes.

Remember that you are still the same person you have always been!

You can strive for the same goals, and still have the same tools you need to achieve them!

If you want to get some one-on-one messaging started with people who want to help, you could post a message in the "looking for support" thread. It's a good place to have a candid conversation. And you might just find that someone else has experienced a lot of what you are dealing with, in addition to all of the common hardships that brought us all here.

Thank you. Everyday seems to get worse. I feel so helpless. And I’m in so much pain!

I know it may seem like life is ending and everything is crumbling around you but hey.. this is not gonna kill you. It's a skin rash that gets better over time and with medicine that can help to. I know it sucks mentally because of the stigma tied behind it but it's really no big deal. Check out the Facebook groups. Talk to people but seriously, you'll be fine. You'll live a long prosperous life!

Just be careful out there. You can't trust people these days.