Painful first lesson in disclosing - Looking for support

I was diagnosed with HSV2 about 5 months ago in a former relationship. That relationship ended (for other reasons) and I realized I was staying with him because he accepted me, not because he was the one for me. Fast forward to now, I have met an incredible man who I built a short friendship with before turning into romantic. We go to church together and have done quite a few things together. One night we were drinking and in the moment did everything except have sex. The next week I started to feel awful for not disclosing prior to him preforming oral.

Once I disclosed he was of course upset that I did not tell him and how he had been vulnerable and I wasn't able to be honest. I completely understand his feeling and am kicking myself for putting someone in a position like that. This is all new for me and I thought I'd be able to clearly define boundaries before disclosing and now that I haven't I am having the hardest time forgiving myself.

He came over today and we talked. He forgave me whole-heartedly and still wants to build a friendship, but he cannot see himself continuing forward in a romantic way as he felt vulnerable and it back-fired. It pains me to learn this lesson and I realize that it might be something bigger in forcing me to let myself heal and love myself without jumping into a relationship. But it is painful and in this moment I feel so bad and alone. He took responsibility for not asking me if I was clean before doing anything which was nice, and although he's ready to move on and not hold anything against me, I am holding the world against myself right now. Looking for some support and encouragement through this time.

Hello CM, honestly you can't torment yourself for this bad disclosure experience. You are worth so much mpre than what you are allowing HSV to define you. Yes you made a mistake in not disclosing, welcome to the club. I myself waited to tell and I felt horrible but once I disclosed I felt free and yes I regretted telling him but I did what was right and that's all that matters. You will be fine and you can count on that. It will take time but this will be just a distant memory at one point.

Hope you are feeling better by now, CM. The way I would view it is that, yes, you made a mistake, accept that since you cannot change the past, but learn from it moving forward. I had a similar experience to your boyfriend. A girlfriend disclosed to me after having sex and I felt very betrayed. Had she disclosed before the fact, I would have admired her. So, let people admire you for your integrity in the future and the right person will come in your life.

I was rejected last night after a short lived friendship with a man who wanted to be more than friends...I told him I had hpv and Hsv and that was the end of it....I fell so horrible and I always tell someone right away before getting too close because it rejection feels horrible even when Im not that close to someone....I cannot imagine being rejected by someone I fell in love with...please help...I need support and frantically looking all over online for someone to talk to ...

Love is bigger than herpes and if he can't see past a harmless skin condition then he's not worth it because that means either the connection isn't strong as you might have thought or he's ignorant of the reality of how little a deal herpes is. Or maybe he knows the reality but is basing his choices on emotion instead of logic. Do you really want a man who bases his decisions on emotion instead of fact.

Fact is that if you are having sex with people, you are going to be humping herpes at some point and if you can't get over that then you are being superstitious/narcissistic.