Herpes Opportunity logo
Informational Blog
Support Forum
Start Here!
H Opp Weekend
Herpes Videos
Lifestyle Guides
  Herpes Opportunity logo
Informational Blog
Support Forum
Start Here!
H Opp Weekend
Herpes Videos
Lifestyle Guides
Wanna help keep
H Opp going?

Be a sustaining member.
We'll love you forever.

$5/month
$10/month
$20/month

Or for a one-time payment, click here.

Howdy, Stranger!

It looks like you're new here. If you want to get involved, click one of these buttons!

In this Discussion

positive guide to herpes disclosure






 

 

Unluckiest in love BEFORE herpes...what now?

Hello friends! I am a 28 years old female and found out I carry HSV-2 back in May. To give a little background I had no obvious herpes symptoms when I went to the doctors, the doctor even told me didn't think I had herpes. Fast forward a few days and I got the shock of my life. Since then I haven't had any outbreaks, keeping my fingers crossed I never do.
It took about 3 weeks for me to process my diagnosis and I have disclosed to pretty much all my close friends. It wasn't until I told my roommate and she disclosed she has it as well, that I really felt OK with my new situation. Although herpes is still something on my mind every day, it is not all consuming and emotionally exhausting as it was in the beginning. So for those of you newly diagnosed, it does get easier!
The area in which I am continuing to struggle in is really with regard to my self worth and feeling like it will now be impossible for me to find love. I have never been in a relationship. I have spent my entire adult life in long term "casual" situation-ships (as I now call them). I convinced myself I was alright with casual relationships with some of my partners, let myself be treated badly and then was most times left heart broken when my partner didn't want more.
I know having a negative outlook on anything, let alone love, is not going to bring about the people and relationships I want. But how do I work on staying positive when I have never been in a relationship BEFORE herpes? It sort of feels like "if no one wanted me before herpes, who the hell is going to want me now?"
Advice from anyone would be great! I feel as though I am okay with having herpes, I understand it is a skin condition and it may never be something I deal with physcially. But dealing with the stigma from potential partners, casual or otherwise, is terrifying.

Comments

  • Hey, I'm new to this too. Just found out a few days ago, and much like you, no symptoms or anything! It's really insane and I think more people actually have it.

    I'm in a similar position as you. To be honest I think I know a few people who already have it and I just don't know it. I know at least three. It's something that's so common but so stigmatized, it's nuts.

    Finding relationships is hard as is, but if it makes you feel any better all three of the people I know (and the one I suspect) are ALL in relationships and one of them has had many relationships and a wild sex life for years. So I think we'll be okay. But it is going to make dating sooo much harder. But I think also in the end it will help the both of us find the person we're really supposed to be with.
  • Me too. No symptons. CDC doesn't recommend testing because they don't think that anyone will change their actual behavior. Since isn't deadly they don't care. From what I've read it is just good to maintain overall good health and mental wellness and that will help. As far as finding long lasting love, some of my friends have found partners, 2 found H positive partners and one found a man who loved her no matter what. It can happen.
Sign In or Register to comment.