Should I feel guilty/worried of possible transmission to my partner?

Hi there,

I'm feeling kind of worried about transmission to my new partner. I disclosed to him before sex, and he was absolutely fine with it. He decided a few months into our relationship that he wanted to have unprotected sex with me because he has a hard time with condoms and it was really hurting our sex life. I figured it was his body and if he was willing to accept the risks then I shouldn't feel all the responsibility if he does get it, and that the most I could do is protect him as much as possible by not having sex with symptoms, and being on suppressive meds.

However, yesterday while we were having sex I started to feel a bit of pain. I thought maybe he was just rubbing me weird, though I got a little bit worried about it. This morning, I definitely have what appears to be a tiny sore spot and likely a very mild outbreak. I normally know when I am getting an outbreak (tingles and aches) but had nothing this time (maybe bc of the meds?). But now I'm worried that since it's a likely outbreak, and we had unprotected sex last night, that he's likely to contract it!

I honestly didn't realize I was having an outbreak but now that I am I feel absolutely terrible. I know he made his own decisions, but it's so early in the relationship and I don't know if I even want to be with this guy long term, but will feel so guilty if he does get it. Does anyone have any advice to deal with these feelings of guilt and fear?

@flowerpower did you ever find a solution for this? What happened?

I am interested in how this turned out also.

I know exactly how you're feeling- I've had the same experience. I've been with the same man since my dx last June. I'm on Acyclovir and have had 2 outbreaks in the last year. We have had unprotected sex and once I had an outbreak the next day after we had sex so he was exposed for sure. However, he has accepted the fact that he may contract it at any given time regardless of my having an outbreak or not, because shedding is occuring anytime. We can't predict the future- just being optimistic.