Another successful disclosure.... but one small problem! Lol

Hi all! This is probably my 3rd post and 5th successful disclosure story.

The talk went super well, as expected: per usual kept cam and collected, had a "plan of attack, had been intimate to an extent before but not sex, and was super sure the guy truly likes me and respects me as a person. Kind of a no-fail strategy so far in my book.

The guy is great: We've been going out some 5 weeks but are pretty in tune with wanting to take things slow, get to know each other well, and no "pressure" on titles, marriage, or anything of the sort for now. It's been very relaxed and natural. We even took a mini vacation to California together to camp!

Had a lovely stay-at-home date with probably the coolest guy I've dated in a couple years, and I felt comfortable enough to disclose. I told him how long is had it, how long is been asymptomatic, how it's more common than people think, but easy enough to prevent transmission with the right precautions. I told him I was telling him because even though the chances of me passing it with antivirals no symptoms, and a condom are super small, they're not zero. That he deserved to know and I trusted him and I didn't want to jeeopardize his trust for me before we took it to the next level.

He stroked my hair, asked me a couple questions but ultimately said "listen it's not something you can help or your fault. You got unlucky. It happens and it's not a huge deal."

So we sealed the deal..... but now I need advice because he's NOT good in bed!! Haha. I'm flabbergasted, it's the first time in a long time I've had bad sex, especially with someone I like so much. I don't think I want to break things off just based on that, but beyond just communicating what I like, any tips on how to nudge him the right way? It was pretty bad, guys hahah!

Im so glad your disclosure went well! Then I get to the real issue LOL...well I think you just have to say what you like and give directions in a gentle way not to hurt his feelings.

Right!?

Haha I'm at least glad that these are "good problems" to have. :p

while with H I've had great sex with assholes, great sex with great guys, and I guess now bad sec with good guys? Hah. In the grand scheme of things, when I first got diagnosed I was sure I would never have sex again, so I'm glad I'm driving this wagon. We'll see if things get better in the bedroom but happy this cool dude is cool enough to see past the herps while we wor on sheet chemistry. ;)

You're simply going to have to teach him how to be good at sex. I would have a talk with him in a neutral setting, not when you're in the middle of it. You'll both need to be very open about what you like to do and exactly how you like it to be done. Then it'll take practice, practice, practice. If he's a great guy and really into you, he should be willing to do that. I myself have taught several shitty kissers to be pretty good at it. Anything is possible! Good luck!