Is suing worth it?

I was dating someone back in dec 2014 and after the third time we had sex I found out I had genital herpes. He was there for me through the doctors visits and even during the initial outbreak pain. Seemed as if it was no big deal to him. I asked him to get tested and he agreed. I asked before that he get tested we use condoms just in case . He decided he didn't want to use condoms and had sex with me even during outbreaks. We broke up for a bit and during our breakup he got tested apparently. When we got back together he handed me anti viral medications because for some reason my doctors wouldn't give them to me unless I was having an active outbreak. (This is in CA) he said that the doctor said he didn't have herpes and when I asked to see the paperwork he said he lost it somewhere. We eventually broken up on good terms and met new people . He would continue to get me anti virals for me but would always take the label off of course. He told me that he met his new girlfriend on a herpes dating site and that she was fully aware that he had herpes. I later found out who his girlfriend was and I personally knew her because they used to work together. Finding out that he lied about how he met her made me realize that he could've been lying about everything the entire time. I'm hurt because I feel like I've been lied to for years and I was so foolish to believe everything.

I spoke with the girl and explained to her that she may be dating someone who could possibly have herpes.

I got an STD screening a month before we met and was clean but I have no idea if herpes was apart of the screening.

I just don't like knowing that he's going around lying to other women and not disclosing his infection. I have had to have the "talk" with people and the anxiety of it eats me up. Im planning on speaking with a lawyer but I have no idea if it's even worth the risk?

Hi, @Decisions93. I can hear the disappointment and frustration in your post. What are you hoping for with a lawsuit?

I think it may just be a revenge thing. But I feel like it won't make me feel any better

I think that's a decision for you to make based on your own values. I've had multiple people suggest I seek legal action against my giver because he admitted he knew and didn't disclose after I got my test results. I've chosen not to because I don't feel like it's going to solve anything for me. It's a tough case to prove since HSV isn't on the standard panel of tests and would be his word against mine as to whether or not he disclosed. I'm not vindictive in nature and decided it wasn't worth risking my integrity.

You're right Spatx919. Thank you . I feel much better .

Would you sue someone for giving you a cold? I know herpes isn't a cold, but it seems to me that suing people over herpes only serves to feed the stigma. And then the stigma comes right back to your doorstep, so you'd be fucking yourself over in a way.

All that being said, a part of me is really tempted to send my giver an official-looking letter by certified mail. Just to scare the piss out of him.