How do I move on?

Ever since my diagnosis a little under three weeks ago, being sick is all I think about. I'm scared every itch is an OB. I'm afraid every tingle is an OB, every little bit of groin pain... Truthfully I'm noticing I'm coping by avoiding being sober. I didn't really think this was going to affect me, I was so focused on it affecting others *see previous post* I feel like its going to take over and I don't want to give it this control. How do I learn to accept? At what point will I stop wishing for a Time Machine to go back? I feel like damaged goods noon will want.

It sounds like you're depressed over your diagnosis @advice_seeker and understandably so. The trouble is, you're self-medicating for depression with a depressant and doing yourself my harm than good. Additionally, the alcohol is weakening your immune system and making it harder for your body to become acclimated to the virus.

Stop drinking for a couple of weeks and see how it affects your outlook. If you have trouble not drinking, seek help for it. Otherwise, your depression is just going to snowball until you end up hurting yourself or others.

@advice_seeker I understand how you feel- this has such an emotional impact. However, @spatx919 is right, the alcohol will only make the outbreaks more frequent and severe. I suggest seeking a therapist to help you get through this. You don't have to do it on your own and talking to friends or family may not be enough. I've had it for 16 years and am married with two kids. However I never dealt with my feelings and am only now getting help. It can be a big burden to try coping on your own- please dont. Take it from someone who suffered in silence for too long and now I am trying to clean up a mess I've made because of my damaged self esteem.

It can be downright terrifying to acknowledge the strong negative emotions that often accompany a herpes diagnosis. Working with a counselor to do that in a safe space can be really helpful. Kudos to you for recognizing and admitting early what's happening.

The truth is there are far more devastating things to get than HSV. Try living with Psoriasis or Arthritis or HIV. In fact HSV is such a non issue for the majority of people that often doctors don't include it in an STD test. And roughly 1 in 5 people have it and up to 90% of those people don't know they have it because they get little or no symptoms. Everyone have at least one type of Herpes, of which there are 8. More people have HSV1 (oral herpes), than HSV2 (genital herpes). Even though there is a small percentage change of transmission without having an outbreak, no one ever asks someone they are going to kiss, if they were tested for herpes. Believe me, Herpes is a non issue!

Hi @dave I admire your candor and spirt about the big "H". Gosh I have to admit I am a bit green with envy and wish I could share your mind space about this. I've had it for 16 years and still can't fight these feelings that I am somehow "tainted". My husband so doesn't care and has the same attitude as you- but he doesn't (seem) to have any symptoms (while after 12 years we both know he does). How did you get to this space - would you be willing to share?

Pattym, Just by reading as much about it as I can. Believe me, when I was first diagnosed I was depressed and felt no one would ever love me, I'd never have sex again because now I was a leper. Herpes (especially genital) has such a stigma that some have even committed suicide and all over a virus that is a non issue for most of us. People are less afraid of the Flu and yet up to 49,000 people die from it every year. People don't even know that 99% of visible cold sores are herpes, yet mention the word herpes and they automatically visualize ugly blisters on our naughty parts.

We can blame the drug companies and the medical community for not educating the public.

Hope this video helps you some more.