Bad Delivery Disclosure

I met a cool guy online a month ago.Let's call him J.We had a great conversation.Then the communication fell off and picked back up last week.We meet up. It goes well.We hang out that night and the next day.No sex!He did tell me that he has sickle cell trait and that most women leave him because he's often ill. I was a little irritated in my lower region.No bumps but a little paper cut.I make an appointment. Boom I have herpes 2.Even though when the Dr. saw the cut she thought it was eczema.I was devasted, hurt and suicidal.She explained to me that other times when it seems like eczema that was my first major ob.The disease probably was dormant because I haven't had sex in months, but been extremely stressed.Back to J, all I could think of was telling him that same day.I didn't research.I just blurted it out through a text at 5 am.Because that's when he gets off.He said, very interesting.That this would have to be talked about in a conversation.I said I can't talk about it! Have a nice day because I can't date you.My dating life is over.This was a Friday morning.After, I had calmed down on Friday night I called and text him, no answer.Left a voicemail apologizing not because I wanted to still date him but I was sorry about the delivery. Saturday I called, no answer. So I text this time telling him, all I wanted to do was apologize because the way I went about it.That I would like to maintain a friendship (no sex).I also said that I thought he would have at least checked on me seeing that I was having a difficult time.That he too was in a situation where people disappeared because he would be in the hospital often from sickle cell trait.It's Sunday, still haven't heard from him. Last night, something told me to google him because the way he said very interesting, and the fact this 40-year-old had a cloudy eye like you see in older people.I showed my guy friend when I found a picture online.My friend said that guy isn't 40.(I'm 34 btw) After my research, I found out he is indeed older and also found a picture of him with a huge bump on his lip.I don't know how to feel about any of this. However, I did push him away.I just thought that we were cool enough to see if I was okay. I really bummed me out!

It sounds like it's been a rough few days, @neverlovedmyself1. It's really hard to give a calm disclosure so soon after a diagnosis, and even harder when the other person doesn't respond the way we hoped they would. Kudos to you for being honest with him...you did the best you could given the circumstances. {{hugs}}

You did the right thing

Although I think you jumped the gun telling him so fast because your emotions were in overdrive.

But, it was a good thing and led you to his lie about his age...for all you know he already has it.

Keep smiling, certainly more fish in the sea

@HikingGirl Thank you.Even though I'm not feeling the best about the situation, herpes might've saved my life. In no shape, form or fashion am I happy about having this!The reason why I say this is because today I told my son's father.We talked about me having h, by talking to him about it helped me tell him how he made me feel during our marriage. I expressed myself in ways that I couldn't imagine.It felt like I poured my soul out.Then if that wasn't enough I ended up talking to my grandmother, I haven't had a decent conversation with this woman in years.I didn't tell her about my problem, but we talked like old friends. She was able to listen to me without judgment.See all this morning I was asking God to help get me through the day.I also asked God to reveal what I was missing and why I felt the need to talk to the guy so bad. It was like God was saying to me " I took him out of your life for a reason." However, I felt like I was being punished.I said I had done some research, but it was the text he sent me the day I told him that kept going off in my head.The part that stuck out the most was the fact, that he said very interesting.No, I'm sorry or nothing like that. It was like a bulb came on. In my mind, I remember seeing a certificate that he had in his home office. The name was slightly different from the name he told me! When I saw it I remember thinking who the heck would give someone a work certificate with their nickname on it! They wouldn't! I googled that name and I saw that he indeed was married before even though he told me he never been married.He lied about not having kids.He was older than he said he was! The biggest one was that he had some domestic violence cases! I don't know if his plans were to use me for sex or get me into a relationship and start beating the crap out of me! Disclosing in the way I did might have saved my son seeing me beat or killed, or being used up and discarded.((hugs))

You did the right thing

Although I think you jumped the gun telling him so fast because your emotions were in overdrive.

But, it was a good thing and led you to his lie about his age...for all you know he already has it.

Keep smiling, certainly more fish in the sea

You are absolutely correct. I shouldn't have said it so fast.I think me blurting out potential saved my life.