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LIfe is Altered, Emotionless


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Hello everyone!

I've recently been diagnosed with HSV 2 genital herpes about 3 weeks ago. I was negative for HSV 1 but for HSV 2 I had an index level of 8.81. It literally shattered my world. I couldn't feel anything when the doctor told me. I felt like my whole world is over, I'm 23 and I'm a virgin. I only got intimate with three guys. I think i got it from the guy who rubbed himself bare on my vagina which also bare. He told me was clean but i guess not. What confused me was I never experienced an outbreak or cold sore. Th doctor told me i was asymptomatic. I feel like that's more scary than having an outbreak because you don't even know where your outbreaks will be located. I felt tears coming down my face and was shocked. What didn't help was the doctor who told me i had it didn't really show me any sympathy and i felt like he rushed me to get out of the office. He basically prescribed me with antivirals and told me to come back in 3 months. I felt lost and upset. I have nobody to talk to because I'm scared they will judge me.

 

The next few days I spent every minute researching and looking up everything about herpes. i feel like it scares me that i am asymptomatic. However, the past week I've been reading and watching a lot of inspirational stories, like Ella Dawson but this forum helps me a lot. But there's always this idea in my head that nobody would want a girl like me anymore like i am damaged goods. I'm talking to 2 guys in my life and i feel like they would leave me when i tell them i have herpes. To make matters worse, I used to have OCD and i feel like with this diagnosis i feel like its coming back. I'm so scared of transferring the herpes to my arms, legs, face, eyes and etc. I keep sanitizing my hands and afraid of touching down there. I am going crazy, every little thing that is happening to me i feel like its a herpes OB. I feel like i lost who am i and my life would be normal again...

 

However, I'm very happy to found this forum and read stories about people who have herpes. I'm learning so much from them and it makes me feel less lonely in this world.

 

I have a few questions that i hope you guys can help me answer.

 

1. If I'm asymptomatic, with genital herpes am i safe kissing guys? I'm so worried every time i kiss someone that i am potentially giving them herpes.

 

2. Is it possible to transfer genital herpes to your arms, legs, butt and etc if you have no OB?

 

3. I know that usually when you have HSV 2 that means you get OB on your genitals but how likely are you to get OB orally? How can you transfer it your mouth?

 

4. With a number that high, do you guys think i should retake another blood test to be sure?

 

Thank you! Hopefully, i will slowly find myself again...

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Hi, sweets!

 

I was just diagnosed about a month ago as well. I'm 26. I know EXACTLY how you feel. I am SO sorry you're going through this and you're a virgin! I'm also pretty asymptomatic. First were you diagnosed via igg? How long ago was the rubbing incident. If it's an igg of 8.81 is sounds like it's an old infection. Antibodies don't usually show up until about 3-6 months after exposure.

 

Some things that have been helping me are researching Dr. Kelly Shuh, Dr. Sheila Loanzon and Kirsty Spraggon! Also taking lysine, vitamin D3 and b12.

 

1.) yes you are safe kissing guys!

2.) while it's possible to transfer herpes that's usually when you're symptomatic and newly infected.

3.)hsv2 does not prefer the mouth! While it's possible it's unlikely.

4.)experts say any index number over 3.5 is conclusive.

 

Sending good thoughts and prayers your way! Hang in there! This doesn't define us!

 

Xoxo

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I'm pretty sure I acquired HSV2 from genital contact. When my ex-husband tested negative (after our divorce when I found out), it meant I had to have gotten it from one of a few partners I had before getting married. I used condoms every single time I had sex with those previous partners. But the condoms didn't go on until after foreplay, so I believe it's very possible.

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Everthing will be fine sooner or later. Same here i just fount out i have hsv1. I didnt even know i have it till i got tested. I never kiss a guy on the lips. Im pretty sure i got from my roommate, since i saw her having this cold sore on her lips couple of times. Its kinda hard right now. But trying to be optimistic towards this!

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@shatteredgirl47 I wanted to add that you're absolutely normal for feeling like your life has just been turned upside down and for feeling emotionless. Many of us experience a pretty major shock to the system with something like this--something we didn't know much of anything about, and something we never dreamed would happen to us.

 

I spent a long time going through stages of grief and wondering how I could possibly ever feel normal and lovable again. Where you're at now is not the end, it's the beginning. You are not damaged goods. You are valuable. You will find yourself again. And you are among friends who are happy to support you in any way that we can. {hugs}

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@shatteredgirl47 I wanted to add that you're absolutely normal for feeling like your life has just been turned upside down and for feeling emotionless. Many of us experience a pretty major shock to the system with something like this--something we didn't know much of anything about, and something we never dreamed would happen to us.

 

I spent a long time going through stages of grief and wondering how I could possibly ever feel normal and lovable again. Where you're at now is not the end, it's the beginning. You are not damaged goods. You are valuable. You will find yourself again. And you are among friends who are happy to support you in any way that we can. {hugs}

 

Thank you so much! You don't know how much i needed to hear that. You and many others on here are helping me a lot cope with this new change in my life. its going to be a long process to finding myself again but i hope ill find myself again :) Its just hard knowing that im the odd one out in my group of friends who im too scared to tell because of judgements. Also, knowing the stigma around herpes its hard to not think about how guys won't want me anymore :(

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That seems strange.. do you know what the range was for a positive result? What made you take a specific blood test for it? Youre pretty unfortunate if it was just external genital contact.

 

It was the herpes select blood test so i think if its greater than 0.9 its positive. My cousin urged me to test for everything since i told her about that incident with the guy. i read online that a number that high means i mostly have it :(

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Hi, sweets!

 

I was just diagnosed about a month ago as well. I'm 26. I know EXACTLY how you feel. I am SO sorry you're going through this and you're a virgin! I'm also pretty asymptomatic. First were you diagnosed via igg? How long ago was the rubbing incident. If it's an igg of 8.81 is sounds like it's an old infection. Antibodies don't usually show up until about 3-6 months after exposure.

 

Some things that have been helping me are researching Dr. Kelly Shuh, Dr. Sheila Loanzon and Kirsty Spraggon! Also taking lysine, vitamin D3 and b12.

 

1.) yes you are safe kissing guys!

2.) while it's possible to transfer herpes that's usually when you're symptomatic and newly infected.

3.)hsv2 does not prefer the mouth! While it's possible it's unlikely.

4.)experts say any index number over 3.5 is conclusive.

 

Sending good thoughts and prayers your way! Hang in there! This doesn't define us!

 

Xoxo

 

Thank you so much for your kind words :) Yeah it was an herpes select igg blood test. The rubbing incident was about the beginning of March. Its just so weird because i got tested about 2 weeks after the incident. Should i take lysine, vitamin d3 and b12 daily?

 

Also, is it normal to get ingrown hair around the vaginal area? I dont know if its an OB or ingrown hair. I feel like im over thinking every little thing :(

 

But thank you so much! We will get through this

 

xoxo

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Everthing will be fine sooner or later. Same here i just fount out i have hsv1. I didnt even know i have it till i got tested. I never kiss a guy on the lips. Im pretty sure i got from my roommate, since i saw her having this cold sore on her lips couple of times. Its kinda hard right now. But trying to be optimistic towards this!

 

I'm so sorry to hear that :( I think the best way to approach this is to be optimistic! We will conquer this!

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