Thought it was hemorrhoids

A few weeks ago I thought I had a hemorrhoid on my Bh. It was confusing because I couldn't remember anything to cause it. I've gotten them in the past so I could normally pin point the moment it would happen. This...not so much. It was itchy as hell too and was horrible. Fast forward a month later I'm finishing up at the gym and I notice that I'm sore in my genital area near my BH. I left it alone for a few days thinking it was irritation from me working out. But god it was extremely uncomfortable. So I take a look down there and right near my BH I see a very small ulcer. My heart fucking dropped I just knew it was herpes. And so I started to research and although I had one very small ulcer compared to the pictures in google I was way more mild but the ulcer looked like everyone's else's. Then the hemmoroid on my BH came again! After reading online I found out that most people think there first outbreak are hemmeriods and misdiagnose themselves. If it wasnt for this ulcer I would have done it again. I was a wreck, never cried harder. And I'm still confused because I figured this out less then a week ago. I had to call my bf and tell him the news. He couldn't have been more supportive and actually wasn't upset or freaked out at all. We have been together since January. Before we had sex we showed each other our STD paperwork and he was good and so was I. He had just been tested in December. I had the paperwork so I took a look again. And there it was on his. I hadn't noticed before because stupidly I just looked for HIV and all the other ones that said negative and was satisfied. His results read HSV 1/2 combination 1.07 high equivocal noreactive. The range equivocal was 0.9-1.09 and 1.09 and higher was positive and he's at a 1.07. I called him immediately and told him . He swore up and down that his doctor said he was ok. Call me stupid but I believe him. He told me if he knew of any herpes indication he wouldn't have let me have his std paperwork and let me keep it. Him and I both have HSV 1. Since we have been together we have both have had cold sores on different occasions. He's never gone down on me either. I went to get tested immediately and my doctor was convinced that I didn't have herpes. I am convinced. I just got my blood tests back tested positive for HSV 1 and negative for HSV 2. He also swabbed my ulcer which I'm currently waiting for the results. I believe my blood test came back negative because I haven't built up the anti bodies yet. We had sex for the first time in February. We waited a little over a month before sleeping together. He is blaming himself and is just as distraught at the idea of possibly giving me this STD. He has an appointment Monday to have his results clarified with his doctor. Because he's never had anything appear on his penis so he had no idea. I'm not dealing with it ok. I cry myself to sleep every night and hate that I had paperwork that I didn't read clearly. I'm wondering what equivocal 1.07 means and why was it tested as a combination and not broken down on his results as to what was what. My doctor called me and clarified my results. My doctor gave me 800mg of alvocylr 5 piils a day for 10 days. It's been 3 days and the ulcer is completely gone. No scab no nothing. I never got that initial tingling sensation either. I just hope my future outbreaks are very mild like my most recent one. I'll continue with my meds. I'm feeling pretty disgusting about myself and some anger against my boyfriend. I'm just confused and depressed. I can't believe I have herpes :(

Update: my doctor said my swab tested positive for it....just feeling super sad right now with no one to talk to.

Is it possible you acquired it from a previous partner? It's not at all unusual to have it for a very long time without physical symptoms, and then for symptoms to develop later on. If he's never given you oral, I'm at a loss for how he could have transmitted it to you. I think a great place to start is for him to obtain a copy of his lab results. You're looking to see if he had an IgG type-specific blood test.

@HikingGirl She says that she and her boyfriend both have oral HSV1, and that her blood tested positive for HSV1, negative for HSV2, and his results have 1 and 2 combined. That means he is positive for one or both, which I believe confuses her. It confuses me as well. @Carmensandiego are you saying the swab tested positive for HSV2? And is it possible that the previous "hemorrhoids" were also outbreaks that you misdiagnosed? When you were tested prior to your current relationship, are you certain you were tested for Herpes? It isn't normally included in the standard STD testing, unless you request it. As HikingGirl said, it isn't unusual for people to have it a long time without symptoms, or with symptoms they confuse with other possible issues. (Such as the hemorrhoids you mention.) I'm sorry to ask so many questions, I'm just a bit confused by it all. :)

@hikinggirl. I was tested in Jan 2017 for all std screening plus herpes. That all came back negative for hsv 2. I got tested because I thought I had a cyst on my ovaries turned out it was fiberiods. I met my boyfriend back in Jan the first week. We have sex about a month into dating. Shortly after that maybe 2 weeks I get a hemmiroid thing that was so itchy. I knew it was strange because I've had them before and this felt different because it was so itchy and I knew I hadn't went #2 for it to happen. Fast forward a month later I get an ulcer bear my butt followed by the hemmeriod. Then I got tested for herpes. He gave me his std screening papers and it read hsv 1/2 combination equivocal 1.07 high the range of herpes is 1.09 and higher. I was confused by that. Because his paperwork mixed them both. I'm aware he has it on his mouth. But I'm not sure how else I would have gotten it unless he's cheated. Obvious mine is new if my blood is testing negative and my ulcer is positive. The whole thing is messy and I'm feeling emotional and upset. We have no plans on breaking up and he's willing to stick this out with me. He's calling his doctor today to have his lab work clarified. If he's negative to hsv 2 then maybe my results from Kaiser were just faulty and I brought it into this relationship.

Sorry for the confusion--that's what I get for trying to read posts on my phone while at work! Virtually no one gets a zero on these tests, so yes, according to his blood test, 1.07 is still considered negative. I'm confused about the combined test he had though. I would ask the doctor' office what kind of test he had. It might even say on the lab work. IgM tests are notoriously unreliable, but commonly performed anyway. An IgG test should have listed each type separately.

Also, which type (1 or 2) did your recent swab test positive for?

@hikinggirl it's all good I check on my phone too! I didn't ask the doctor which type. I'm going to call him tomorrow because I'd like to get on suppressive treatment. Yes, I assumed it was a hemmeriod but after lots of research realized a lot of people's first OB are in that area and mix the 2 up. Yes he got his tests done at lab corp. he's going back in Wednesday at 6 for another blood test. We are just trying to narrow it down because if it's not from him then it has to be me. And I would hate to give it to him. I'd just have to be very careful. It's just a fucking mess and I'm not okay right now. I wish I could hit the restart button and make it go away. I wish there was a cure for this shit.

Sounds like a good plan. Knowing exactly who has which type and where will help you figure out the best precautions. Absorbing all of this information and getting used to the idea of its permanency can definitely be overwhelming. And I know this sounds cliche, but it really does get easier with time and intentionality. {hugs}

Thank you. Yes it’s hsv 2. It hasn’t gotten easier I’m still sad as fuck.