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Herpes from mutual masturbation


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I feel like I just go struck by lighting. We did everything right, I thought we were safe. She disclosed to me on our 4th date after a few make-out sessions, strictly above the waist. She takes Valtrex, she's had hsv-2 pretty much her whole life. We're both 38. I took a week to think about it, did a ton of research, & then spent the night with her. Only one of us was naked at a time (we swapped wearing pajama bottoms & I wore boxers under the pjs). She didn't have any sores, we didn't have sex. Just made out & kissed each others chests and stomachs & dry-humed high-school style. At the end there was mutual masturbation; I used my hands on her & she used hers on me. She'd also used her hands on herself earlier, but it'd been much longer than 12 seconds (I read the virus can't live for longer than that). She had some kind of lube soap bar, maybe that keeps it alive? I'd gotten a small sort of paper-cut 4 days earlier that looked pretty much healed on the side of my hand that I doubt touched her much. Afterwards I freaked out a bit on my own, but read this article:

 

https://herpeslife.com/herpes-forum/discussion/7003/valtrex-daily-condoms-do-i-really-need-to-disclose

 

... and worked out that a couple had a 1 in 3,568 chance of transmitting if they used a condom and Valtrex was being taken and had sex once. And we didn't even have sex, so for me it was a < 1 in 3568 chance. That was Sat night, it's Tuesday afternoon now & I have a fairly unmistakable rash on the tip of my penis. I'm pretty sure I know what I'm looking at after all the research. How did this happen? On several sites Doctors say it's almost impossible to catch it this way:

 

http://www.medhelp.org/posts/STDs/HSV-from-Mutual-Masturbation/show/1451838

 

Some of them say they've never seen it happen in 30 years of being a doctor. W. T. F. internet.

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I don't think so. I split with my ex in summer 2013 and got tested & was clear for hsv-1 and hsv-2 in summer 2014. This is my first hookup in four years since I split with my ex.

 

The specific tests from 2014 say:

 

Herpes I Ab. (IgG) <0.2 (<0.9 = Negative)

Herpes II Ab. (IgG) <0.2 (<0.9 = Negative)

 

Plus I've never had symptoms before.

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Thanks for writing back, HikingGirl. I haven't quite got that far yet -- just sort of staring at the wall running through all the ways my life just permanently changed, feel sort of paralyzed. True, I guess I should make an appointment & get the swab test done & go through the motions.

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