Just got my test results today and I'm positive for HSV2 and am so confused

Hi, I'm new here and to this new life. I started seeing a new guy and last weekend we decided to have unprotected sex. I didn't have any condoms at home and knew my last std test was normal, and he said he hadn't been with anyone in over a year and had tested clean as well since then. Well, he calls me Thurs and tells me he found a bump on his penis, went to his doctor who looked at it and said it was herpes, but didn't test him. I convinced him to go back and get tested, so he's waiting on results. I went in and had a full std screening, including hsv1 & 2. My results came back this morning and I was negative for everything except for hsv2, which had my number at 10.81! I don't have any symptoms and have never had an outbreak, so I'm at a loss on what to think. I'm doing research like crazy and plan on seeing my ob/gyn next week, but could use some positive thoughts and insights. It seems too soon for him to have infected me, so I'm at a loss.

I feel like I'm handling it ok, but when I've talked about it today, I've completely broken down. I'm trying hard to keep things in perspective.

-Mishabones

When I say too soon to have infected me, I meant to soon for the infection to show up in a blood test.

Hi @Mishabones

Sorry to hear that! It must be a lot to deal with not only finding out that you have HSV2, but also that you might have given it to your partner.

However

LOTS of people (80% +) don't know that they carry the virus, and standard STD screens don't check for it - which many people don't know, including myself until two weeks ago. Sounds like you were infected awhile back, and that you are an asymptomatic carrier.

My situation is pretty much the reverse of yours. I am the one recently infected and I'm 95% sure that my ex gave it to me a couple of weeks ago. He is being super shady about his test results, but I'm going to go ahead and assume that's because he has it and feels guilty.

My next (and positive) point is that for me at least, I would never have blamed him for passing the virus to me, granted that he didn't know. Of course, some anger is normal, but I can truly say that I harbor no resentment over that part. We were two consenting adults, and the fact of the matter is that you accept a certain risk when having sex, particularly when it's unprotected (which we also had).

I was even less likely to get mad and blame him after I educated myself a little more on just how elusive a positive diagnosis for this virus is...

So the fact that he is now an ex has nothing to do with me getting this little new friend (from his side, it's another story).

Educate yourself, and him, as much as you can. Not everyone will react badly - I myself am a prime example of that.

Good luck! Crossing my fingers for negative test results for you partner.

@mishabones I'm in the exact same situation. Except my SO hasn't had any symptoms yet. I just got tested because I had symptoms and my number was 5. We have been together 6 months...idk who gave it to who but I'm scared to say anything to him in fear that he tests negative now and positive later knowing I gave it to him. I can live with him giving it to me...but he will HATE me if I inadvertently gave it to him. :( I'm falling apart. I had symptoms shortly after our last "session"...but idk why I think I got it from someone else.

I never cheated...my gut just tells me it's not from him.

@Sweetsoulxo I'm sorry you are dealing with this. It sucks. I saw my gynecologist last week and he had me retest, which came back positive. I started on Valtrex this week and still have not had an outbreak. I'm hopeful to be one of the "silent" sufferers.

As hard as it may be, you should tell your SO so that he knows the risk he is at. If he flips out, that says a lot about his character. It's not like you purposely exposed him. Good luck. It's going to be alright.

my outbreak was very mild...im terrified that if he has it he'll be one of the ones with a terrible outbreak requiring a catheter or something!

@mishabones